tale.fyi

A Tangled Tale ▾
contents
  1. To My Pupil
  2. Preface
  3. Knot I Excelsior “Goblin, lead them up and down.”
  4. Knot II Eligible Apartments “Straight down the crooked lane, And all round the square.”
  5. Knot III Mad Mathesis “I waited for the train.”
  6. Knot IV The Dead Reckoning “I did dream of moneybags tonight.”
  7. Knot V Oughts and Crosses “Look here, upon this picture, and on this.”
  8. Knot VI Her Radiancy “One piecee thing that my have got, Maskee1 that thing my no can do. You talkee you no sabey what? Bamboo.”
  9. Knot VII Petty Cash “Base is the slave that pays.”
  10. Knot VIII De Omnibus Rebus “This little pig went to market: This little pig stayed at home.”
  11. Knot IX A Serpent with Corners “Water, water, every where, Nor any drop to drink.”
  12. Knot X Chelsea Buns “Yea, buns, and buns, and buns!” Old song
  13. Appendix “A knot!” said Alice. “Oh, do let me help to undo it!”
  14. Endnotes
English ▾

A Tangled Tale

Lewis Carroll

free · 27,910 words · 3 h 19 m audiobook, read by Availle for LibriVox · first published 1885

text from Standard Ebooks

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Hoc meum tale quale est accipe.

To My Pupil

Beloved pupil! Tamed by thee,
Addish-, Subtrac-, Multiplica-tion,
Division, Fractions, Rule of Three,
Attest thy deft manipulation!

Then onward! Let the voice of Fame
From Age to Age repeat thy story,
Till thou hast won thyself a name
Exceeding even Euclid’s glory!

Preface

This Tale originally appeared as a serial in The Monthly Packet, beginning in April, 1880. The writer’s intention was to embody in each Knot (like the medicine so dexterously, but ineffectually, concealed in the jam of our early childhood) one or more mathematical questions—in Arithmetic, Algebra, or Geometry, as the case might be—for the amusement, and possible edification, of the fair readers of that Magazine.

L. C.

October, 1885.

Knot I

Excelsior

“Goblin, lead them up and down.”

The ruddy glow of sunset was already fading into the sombre shadows of night, when two travellers might have been observed swiftly—at a pace of six miles in the hour—descending the rugged side of a mountain; the younger bounding from crag to crag with the agility of a fawn, while his companion, whose aged limbs seemed ill at ease in the heavy chain armour habitually worn by tourists in that district, toiled on painfully at his side.

As is always the case under such circumstances, the younger knight was the first to break the silence.

“A goodly pace, I trow!” he exclaimed. “We sped not thus in the ascent!”

“Goodly, indeed!” the other echoed with a groan. “We clomb it but at three miles in the hour.”

“And on the dead level our pace is—?” the younger suggested; for he was weak in statistics, and left all such details to his aged companion.

“Four miles in the hour,” the other wearily replied. “Not an ounce more,” he added, with that love of metaphor so common in old age, “and not a farthing less!”

“ ’Twas three hours past high noon when we left our hostelry,” the young man said, musingly. “We shall scarce be back by suppertime. Perchance mine host will roundly deny us all food!”

“He will chide our tardy return,” was the grave reply, “and such a rebuke will be meet.”

“A brave conceit!” cried the other, with a merry laugh. “And should we bid him bring us yet another course, I trow his answer will be tart!”

“We shall but get our deserts,” sighed the elder knight, who had never seen a joke in his life, and was somewhat displeased at his companion’s untimely levity. “ ’Twill be nine of the clock,” he added in an undertone, “by the time we regain our hostelry. Full many a mile shall we have plodded this day!”

“How many? How many?” cried the eager youth, ever athirst for knowledge.

The old man was silent.

“Tell me,” he answered, after a moment’s thought, “what time it was when we stood together on yonder peak. Not exact to the minute!” he added hastily, reading a protest in the young man’s face. “An’ thy guess be within one poor half-hour of the mark, ’tis all I ask of thy mother’s son! Then will I tell thee, true to the last inch, how far we shall have trudged betwixt three and nine of the clock.”

A groan was the young man’s only reply; while his convulsed features and the deep wrinkles that chased each other across his manly brow, revealed the abyss of arithmetical agony into which one chance question had plunged him.

Knot II

Eligible Apartments

“Straight down the crooked lane,
And all round the square.”

“Let’s ask Balbus about it,” said Hugh.

“All right,” said Lambert.

“He can guess it,” said Hugh.

“Rather,” said Lambert.

No more words were needed: the two brothers understood each other perfectly.

Balbus was waiting for them at the hotel: the journey down had tired him, he said: so his two pupils had been the round of the place, in search of lodgings, without the old tutor who had been their inseparable companion from their childhood. They had named him after the hero of their Latin exercise-book, which overflowed with anecdotes of that versatile genius—anecdotes whose vagueness in detail was more than compensated by their sensational brilliance. “Balbus has overcome all his enemies” had been marked by their tutor, in the margin of the book, “Successful Bravery.” In this way he had tried to extract a moral from every anecdote about Balbus—sometimes one of warning, as in “Balbus had borrowed a healthy dragon,” against which he had written “Rashness in Speculation”—sometimes of encouragement, as in the words “Influence of Sympathy in United Action,” which stood opposite to the anecdote “Balbus was assisting his mother-in-law to convince the dragon”—and sometimes it dwindled down to a single word, such as “Prudence,” which was all he could extract from the touching record that “Balbus, having scorched the tail of the dragon, went away.” His pupils liked the short morals best, as it left them more room for marginal illustrations, and in this instance they required all the space they could get to exhibit the rapidity of the hero’s departure.

Their report of the state of things was discouraging. That most fashionable of watering-places, Little Mendip, was “chockfull” (as the boys expressed it) from end to end. But in one Square they had seen no less than four cards, in different houses, all announcing in flaming capitals “Eligible Apartments.” “So there’s plenty of choice, after all, you see,” said spokesman Hugh in conclusion.

“That doesn’t follow from the data,” said Balbus, as he rose from the easy chair, where he had been dozing over The Little Mendip Gazette. “They may be all single rooms. However, we may as well see them. I shall be glad to stretch my legs a bit.”

restoring your place…

fetching the rest…

More by Lewis Carroll

  • Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
    The logic puzzles hiding inside the nonsense are the real fun here, the Mad Tea-Party arguments actually hold together if you squint, and Alice herself is wonderfully stubborn about it all. Short enough to read in an afternoon, strange enough to stick with you longer.
  • Sylvie and Bruno
    Stranger and more uneven than Alice, this one drifts between a Victorian love story and fairyland mid-sentence, the way dreams actually work. Bruno's baby-talk grates on some people, but the Gardener's nonsense songs are Carroll at his oddest.
  • Through the Looking-Glass
    Stranger and sadder than Wonderland, in a good way: Alice crosses a chess board where Humpty Dumpty lectures her on what words mean and the White Knight keeps falling off his horse. If you like logic bent until it sings, this is where Jabberwocky lives.

appears in

  • Books That Play with the Book

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thank you for reading

A Tangled Tale by Lewis Carroll. The text is in the US public domain, from the Standard Ebooks edition. Served from our own copy; read on their site for the full edition with images and typography.

Narrated by Availle for LibriVox, also public domain.

First published in 1885.

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