Lady Windermere’s Fan

Name: Lady Windermere’s Fan
Author: Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde

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To
The Dear Memory
Of
Robert Earl Of Lytton
In Affection
And
Admiration

Dramatis Personae

Lord Windermere
Lord Darlington
Lord Augustus Lorton
Mr. Dumby
Mr. Cecil Graham
Mr. Hopper
Parker, Butler
Lady Windermere
The Duchess of Berwick
Lady Agatha Carlisle
Lady Plymdale
Lady Stutfield
Lady Jedburgh
Mrs. Cowper-Cowper
Mrs. Erlynne
Rosalie, Maid

The Scenes of the Play

Act I: Morning-room in Lord Windermere’s house.

Act II: Drawing-room in Lord Windermere’s house.

Act III: Lord Darlington’s rooms.

Act IV: Same as Act I.

Time: The present.

Place: London.

The action of the play takes place within twenty-four hours, beginning on a Tuesday afternoon at five o’clock, and ending the next day at 1:30 p.m.

Act I

Scene: Morning-room of Lord Windermere’s house in Carlton House Terrace. Doors C. and R. Bureau with books and papers R. Sofa with small tea-table L. Window opening on to terrace L. Table R.

	Lady Windermere is at table R., arranging roses in a blue bowl.
	Enter Parker.
Parker	Is your ladyship at home this afternoon?
Lady Windermere	Yes—who has called?
Parker	Lord Darlington, my lady.
Lady Windermere	Hesitates for a moment. Show him up—and I’m at home to anyone who calls.
Parker	Yes, my lady.
	Exit C.
Lady Windermere	It’s best for me to see him before tonight. I’m glad he’s come.
	Enter Parker* C.*
Parker	Lord Darlington,
	Enter Lord Darlington* C.*
	Exit Parker.
Lord Darlington	How do you do, Lady Windermere?
Lady Windermere	How do you do, Lord Darlington? No, I can’t shake hands with you. My hands are all wet with these roses. Aren’t they lovely? They came up from Selby this morning.
Lord Darlington	They are quite perfect. Sees a fan lying on the table. And what a wonderful fan! May I look at it?
Lady Windermere	Do. Pretty, isn’t it! It’s got my name on it, and everything. I have only just seen it myself. It’s my husband’s birthday present to me. You know today is my birthday?
Lord Darlington	No? Is it really?
Lady Windermere	Yes, I’m of age today. Quite an important day in my life, isn’t it? That is why I am giving this party tonight. Do sit down. Still arranging flowers.
Lord Darlington	Sitting down. I wish I had known it was your birthday, Lady Windermere. I would have covered the whole street in front of your house with flowers for you to walk on. They are made for you.
	A short pause.
Lady Windermere	Lord Darlington, you annoyed me last night at the Foreign Office. I am afraid you are going to annoy me again.
Lord Darlington	I, Lady Windermere?
	Enter Parker* and Footman C., with tray and tea things.*
Lady Windermere	Put it there, Parker. That will do. Wipes her hands with her pocket-handkerchief, goes to tea-table, and sits down. Won’t you come over, Lord Darlington?
	Exit Parker* C.*
Lord Darlington	Takes chair and goes across L.C. I am quite miserable, Lady Windermere. You must tell me what I did. Sits down at table L.
Lady Windermere	Well, you kept paying me elaborate compliments the whole evening.
Lord Darlington	Smiling. Ah, nowadays we are all of us so hard up, that the only pleasant things to pay are compliments. They’re the only things we can pay.
Lady Windermere	Shaking her head. No, I am talking very seriously. You mustn’t laugh, I am quite serious. I don’t like compliments, and I don’t see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn’t mean.
Lord Darlington	Ah, but I did mean them. Takes tea which she offers him.
Lady Windermere	Gravely. I hope not. I should be sorry to have to quarrel with you, Lord Darlington. I like you very much, you know that. But I shouldn’t like you at all if I thought you were what most other men are. Believe me, you are better than most other men, and I sometimes think you pretend to be worse.
Lord Darlington	We all have our little vanities, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Why do you make that your special one? Still seated at table L.
Lord Darlington	Still seated L.C. Oh, nowadays so many conceited people go about Society pretending to be good, that I think it shows rather a sweet and modest disposition to pretend to be bad. Besides, there is this to be said. If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
Lady Windermere	Don’t you want the world to take you seriously then, Lord Darlington?
Lord Darlington	No, not the world. Who are the people the world takes seriously? All the dull people one can think of, from the Bishops down to the bores. I should like you to take me very seriously, Lady Windermere, you more than anyone else in life.
Lady Windermere	Why—why me?
Lord Darlington	After a slight hesitation. Because I think we might be great friends. Let us be great friends. You may want a friend some day.
Lady Windermere	Why do you say that?
Lord Darlington	Oh!—we all want friends at times.
Lady Windermere	I think we’re very good friends already, Lord Darlington. We can always remain so as long as you don’t—
Lord Darlington	Don’t what?
Lady Windermere	Don’t spoil it by saying extravagant silly things to me. You think I am a Puritan, I suppose? Well, I have something of the Puritan in me. I was brought up like that. I am glad of it. My mother died when I was a mere child. I lived always with Lady Julia, my father’s elder sister, you know. She was stern to me, but she taught me what the world is forgetting, the difference that there is between what is right and what is wrong. She allowed of no compromise. I allow of none.
Lord Darlington	My dear Lady Windermere!
Lady Windermere	Leaning back on the sofa. You look on me as being behind the age.—Well, I am! I should be sorry to be on the same level as an age like this.
Lord Darlington	You think the age very bad?
Lady Windermere	Yes. Nowadays people seem to look on life as a speculation. It is not a speculation. It is a sacrament. Its ideal is Love. Its purification is sacrifice.
Lord Darlington	Smiling. Oh, anything is better than being sacrificed!
Lady Windermere	Leaning forward. Don’t say that.
Lord Darlington	I do say it. I feel it—I know it.
	Enter Parker* C.*
Parker	The men want to know if they are to put the carpets on the terrace for tonight, my lady?
Lady Windermere	You don’t think it will rain, Lord Darlington, do you?
Lord Darlington	I won’t hear of its raining on your birthday!
Lady Windermere	Tell them to do it at once, Parker.
	Exit Parker* C.*
Lord Darlington	Still seated. Do you think then—of course I am only putting an imaginary instance—do you think that in the case of a young married couple, say about two years married, if the husband suddenly becomes the intimate friend of a woman of—well, more than doubtful character—is always calling upon her, lunching with her, and probably paying her bills—do you think that the wife should not console herself?
Lady Windermere	Frowning. Console herself?
Lord Darlington	Yes, I think she should—I think she has the right.
Lady Windermere	Because the husband is vile—should the wife be vile also?
Lord Darlington	Vileness is a terrible word, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	It is a terrible thing, Lord Darlington.
Lord Darlington	Do you know I am afraid that good people do a great deal of harm in this world. Certainly the greatest harm they do is that they make badness of such extraordinary importance. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. I take the side of the charming, and you, Lady Windermere, can’t help belonging to them.
Lady Windermere	Now, Lord Darlington. Rising and crossing R., front of him. Don’t stir, I am merely going to finish my flowers. Goes to table R.C.
Lord Darlington	Rising and moving chair. And I must say I think you are very hard on modern life, Lady Windermere. Of course there is much against it, I admit. Most women, for instance, nowadays, are rather mercenary.
Lady Windermere	Don’t talk about such people.
Lord Darlington	Well then, setting aside mercenary people, who, of course, are dreadful, do you think seriously that women who have committed what the world calls a fault should never be forgiven?
Lady Windermere	Standing at table. I think they should never be forgiven.
Lord Darlington	And men? Do you think that there should be the same laws for men as there are for women?
Lady Windermere	Certainly!
Lord Darlington	I think life too complex a thing to be settled by these hard and fast rules.
Lady Windermere	If we had “these hard and fast rules,” we should find life much more simple.
Lord Darlington	You allow of no exceptions?
Lady Windermere	None!
Lord Darlington	Ah, what a fascinating Puritan you are, Lady Windermere!
Lady Windermere	The adjective was unnecessary, Lord Darlington.
Lord Darlington	I couldn’t help it. I can resist everything except temptation.
Lady Windermere	You have the modern affectation of weakness.
Lord Darlington	Looking at her. It’s only an affectation, Lady Windermere.
	Enter Parker* C.*
Parker	The Duchess of Berwick and Lady Agatha Carlisle.
	Enter the The Duchess of Berwick* and Lady Agatha Carlisle C.*
	Exit Parker* C.*
The Duchess of Berwick	Coming down C., and shaking hands. Dear Margaret, I am so pleased to see you. You remember Agatha, don’t you? Crossing L.C. How do you do, Lord Darlington? I won’t let you know my daughter, you are far too wicked.
Lord Darlington	Don’t say that, Duchess. As a wicked man I am a complete failure. Why, there are lots of people who say I have never really done anything wrong in the whole course of my life. Of course they only say it behind my back.
The Duchess of Berwick	Isn’t he dreadful? Agatha, this is Lord Darlington. Mind you don’t believe a word he says. Lord Darlington crosses R.C. No, no tea, thank you, dear. Crosses and sits on sofa. We have just had tea at Lady Markby’s. Such bad tea, too. It was quite undrinkable. I wasn’t at all surprised. Her own son-in-law supplies it. Agatha is looking forward so much to your ball tonight, dear Margaret.
Lady Windermere	Seated L.C. Oh, you mustn’t think it is going to be a ball, Duchess. It is only a dance in honour of my birthday. A small and early.
Lord Darlington	Standing L.C. Very small, very early, and very select, Duchess.
The Duchess of Berwick	On sofa L. Of course it’s going to be select. But we know that, dear Margaret, about your house. It is really one of the few houses in London where I can take Agatha, and where I feel perfectly secure about dear Berwick. I don’t know what society is coming to. The most dreadful people seem to go everywhere. They certainly come to my parties—the men get quite furious if one doesn’t ask them. Really, someone should make a stand against it.
Lady Windermere	I will, Duchess. I will have no one in my house about whom there is any scandal.
Lord Darlington	R.C. Oh, don’t say that, Lady Windermere. I should never be admitted! Sitting.
The Duchess of Berwick	Oh, men don’t matter. With women it is different. We’re good. Some of us are, at least. But we are positively getting elbowed into the corner. Our husbands would really forget our existence if we didn’t nag at them from time to time, just to remind them that we have a perfect legal right to do so.
Lord Darlington	It’s a curious thing, Duchess, about the game of marriage—a game, by the way, that is going out of fashion—the wives hold all the honours, and invariably lose the odd trick.
The Duchess of Berwick	The odd trick? Is that the husband, Lord Darlington?
Lord Darlington	It would be rather a good name for the modern husband.
The Duchess of Berwick	Dear Lord Darlington, how thoroughly depraved you are!
Lady Windermere	Lord Darlington is trivial.
Lord Darlington	Ah, don’t say that, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Why do you talk so trivially about life, then?
Lord Darlington	Because I think that life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it. Moves up C.
The Duchess of Berwick	What does he mean? Do, as a concession to my poor wits, Lord Darlington, just explain to me what you really mean.
Lord Darlington	Coming down back of table. I think I had better not, Duchess. Nowadays to be intelligible is to be found out. Goodbye! Shakes hands with Duchess. And now—goes up stage Lady Windermere, goodbye. I may come tonight, mayn’t I? Do let me come.
Lady Windermere	Standing up stage with Lord Darlington. Yes, certainly. But you are not to say foolish, insincere things to people.
Lord Darlington	Smiling. Ah! you are beginning to reform me. It is a dangerous thing to reform anyone, Lady Windermere. Bows, and exit C.
The Duchess of Berwick	Who has risen, goes C. What a charming, wicked creature! I like him so much. I’m quite delighted he’s gone! How sweet you’re looking! Where do you get your gowns? And now I must tell you how sorry I am for you, dear Margaret. Crosses to sofa and sits with Lady Windermere. Agatha, darling!
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma. Rises.
The Duchess of Berwick	Will you go and look over the photograph album that I see there?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma. Goes to table up L.
The Duchess of Berwick	Dear girl! She is so fond of photographs of Switzerland. Such a pure taste, I think. But I really am so sorry for you, Margaret.
Lady Windermere	Smiling. Why, Duchess?
The Duchess of Berwick	Oh, on account of that horrid woman. She dresses so well, too, which makes it much worse, sets such a dreadful example. Augustus—you know my disreputable brother—such a trial to us all—well, Augustus is completely infatuated about her. It is quite scandalous, for she is absolutely inadmissible into society. Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit.
Lady Windermere	Whom are you talking about, Duchess?
The Duchess of Berwick	About Mrs. Erlynne.
Lady Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne? I never heard of her, Duchess. And what has she to do with me?
The Duchess of Berwick	My poor child! Agatha, darling!
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Will you go out on the terrace and look at the sunset?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
	Exit through window, L.
The Duchess of Berwick	Sweet girl! So devoted to sunsets! Shows such refinement of feeling, does it not? After all, there is nothing like Nature, is there?
Lady Windermere	But what is it, Duchess? Why do you talk to me about this person?
The Duchess of Berwick	Don’t you really know? I assure you we’re all so distressed about it. Only last night at dear Lady Jansen’s everyone was saying how extraordinary it was that, of all men in London, Windermere should behave in such a way.
Lady Windermere	My husband—what has he got to do with any woman of that kind?
The Duchess of Berwick	Ah, what indeed, dear? That is the point. He goes to see her continually, and stops for hours at a time, and while he is there she is not at home to anyone. Not that many ladies call on her, dear, but she has a great many disreputable men friends—my own brother particularly, as I told you—and that is what makes it so dreadful about Windermere. We looked upon him as being such a model husband, but I am afraid there is no doubt about it. My dear nieces—you know the Saville girls, don’t you?—such nice domestic creatures—plain, dreadfully plain, but so good—well, they’re always at the window doing fancy work, and making ugly things for the poor, which I think so useful of them in these dreadful socialistic days, and this terrible woman has taken a house in Curzon Street, right opposite them—such a respectable street, too! I don’t know what we’re coming to! And they tell me that Windermere goes there four and five times a week—they see him. They can’t help it—and although they never talk scandal, they—well, of course—they remark on it to everyone. And the worst of it all is that I have been told that this woman has got a great deal of money out of somebody, for it seems that she came to London six months ago without anything at all to speak of, and now she has this charming house in Mayfair, drives her ponies in the Park every afternoon and all—well, all—since she has known poor dear Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Oh, I can’t believe it!
The Duchess of Berwick	But it’s quite true, my dear. The whole of London knows it. That is why I felt it was better to come and talk to you, and advise you to take Windermere away at once to Homburg or to Aix, where he’ll have something to amuse him, and where you can watch him all day long. I assure you, my dear, that on several occasions after I was first married, I had to pretend to be very ill, and was obliged to drink the most unpleasant mineral waters, merely to get Berwick out of town. He was so extremely susceptible. Though I am bound to say he never gave away any large sums of money to anybody. He is far too high-principled for that!
Lady Windermere	Interrupting. Duchess, Duchess, it’s impossible! Rising and crossing stage to C. We are only married two years. Our child is but six months old. Sits in chair R. of L. table.
The Duchess of Berwick	Ah, the dear pretty baby! How is the little darling? Is it a boy or a girl? I hope a girl—Ah, no, I remember it’s a boy! I’m so sorry. Boys are so wicked. My boy is excessively immoral. You wouldn’t believe at what hours he comes home. And he’s only left Oxford a few months—I really don’t know what they teach them there.
Lady Windermere	Are all men bad?
The Duchess of Berwick	Oh, all of them, my dear, all of them, without any exception. And they never grow any better. Men become old, but they never become good.
Lady Windermere	Windermere and I married for love.
The Duchess of Berwick	Yes, we begin like that. It was only Berwick’s brutal and incessant threats of suicide that made me accept him at all, and before the year was out, he was running after all kinds of petticoats, every colour, every shape, every material. In fact, before the honeymoon was over, I caught him winking at my maid, a most pretty, respectable girl. I dismissed her at once without a character.—No, I remember I passed her on to my sister; poor dear Sir George is so shortsighted, I thought it wouldn’t matter. But it did, though—it was most unfortunate. Rises. And now, my dear child, I must go, as we are dining out. And mind you don’t take this little aberration of Windermere’s too much to heart. Just take him abroad, and he’ll come back to you all right.
Lady Windermere	Come back to me? C.
The Duchess of Berwick	L.C. Yes, dear, these wicked women get our husbands away from us, but they always come back, slightly damaged, of course. And don’t make scenes, men hate them!
Lady Windermere	It is very kind of you, Duchess, to come and tell me all this. But I can’t believe that my husband is untrue to me.
The Duchess of Berwick	Pretty child! I was like that once. Now I know that all men are monsters. Lady Windermere rings bell. The only thing to do is to feed the wretches well. A good cook does wonders, and that I know you have. My dear Margaret, you are not going to cry?
Lady Windermere	You needn’t be afraid, Duchess, I never cry.
The Duchess of Berwick	That’s quite right, dear. Crying is the refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones. Agatha, darling!
Lady Agatha	Entering L. Yes, mamma. Stands back of table L.C.
The Duchess of Berwick	Come and bid goodbye to Lady Windermere, and thank her for your charming visit. Coming down again. And by the way, I must thank you for sending a card to Mr. Hopper—he’s that rich young Australian people are taking such notice of just at present. His father made a great fortune by selling some kind of food in circular tins—most palatable, I believe—I fancy it is the thing the servants always refuse to eat. But the son is quite interesting. I think he’s attracted by dear Agatha’s clever talk. Of course, we should be very sorry to lose her, but I think that a mother who doesn’t part with a daughter every season has no real affection. We’re coming tonight, dear. Parker opens C. doors. And remember my advice, take the poor fellow out of town at once, it is the only thing to do. Goodbye, once more; come, Agatha.
	Exeunt Duchess* and Lady Agatha C.*
Lady Windermere	How horrible! I understand now what Lord Darlington meant by the imaginary instance of the couple not two years married. Oh! it can’t be true—she spoke of enormous sums of money paid to this woman. I know where Arthur keeps his bank book—in one of the drawers of that desk. I might find out by that. I will find out. Opens drawer. No, it is some hideous mistake. Rises and goes C. Some silly scandal! He loves me! He loves me! But why should I not look? I am his wife, I have a right to look! Returns to bureau, takes out book and examines it page by page, smiles and gives a sigh of relief. I knew it! there is not a word of truth in this stupid story. Puts book back in drawer. As she does so, starts and takes out another book. A second book—private—locked! Tries to open it, but fails. Sees paper knife on bureau, and with it cuts cover from book. Begins to start at the first page. “Mrs. Erlynne—£600—Mrs. Erlynne—£700—Mrs. Erlynne—£400.” Oh! it is true! It is true! How horrible! Throws book on floor.
	Enter Lord Windermere* C.*
Lord Windermere	Well, dear, has the fan been sent home yet? Going R.C. Sees book. Margaret, you have cut open my bank book. You have no right to do such a thing!
Lady Windermere	You think it wrong that you are found out, don’t you?
Lord Windermere	I think it wrong that a wife should spy on her husband.
Lady Windermere	I did not spy on you. I never knew of this woman’s existence till half an hour ago. Someone who pitied me was kind enough to tell me what everyone in London knows already—your daily visits to Curzon Street, your mad infatuation, the monstrous sums of money you squander on this infamous woman! Crossing L.
Lord Windermere	Margaret! don’t talk like that of Mrs. Erlynne, you don’t know how unjust it is!
Lady Windermere	Turning to him. You are very jealous of Mrs. Erlynne’s honour. I wish you had been as jealous of mine.
Lord Windermere	Your honour is untouched, Margaret. You don’t think for a moment that—Puts book back into desk.
Lady Windermere	I think that you spend your money strangely. That is all. Oh, don’t imagine I mind about the money. As far as I am concerned, you may squander everything we have. But what I do mind is that you who have loved me, you who have taught me to love you, should pass from the love that is given to the love that is bought. Oh, it’s horrible! Sits on sofa. And it is I who feel degraded! you don’t feel anything. I feel stained, utterly stained. You can’t realise how hideous the last six months seems to me now—every kiss you have given me is tainted in my memory.
Lord Windermere	Crossing to her. Don’t say that, Margaret. I never loved anyone in the whole world but you.
Lady Windermere	Rises. Who is this woman, then? Why do you take a house for her?
Lord Windermere	I did not take a house for her.
Lady Windermere	You gave her the money to do it, which is the same thing.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, as far as I have known Mrs. Erlynne—
Lady Windermere	Is there a Mr. Erlynne—or is he a myth?
Lord Windermere	Her husband died many years ago. She is alone in the world.
Lady Windermere	No relations? A pause.
Lord Windermere	None.
Lady Windermere	Rather curious, isn’t it? L.
Lord Windermere	L.C. Margaret, I was saying to you—and I beg you to listen to me—that as far as I have known Mrs. Erlynne, she has conducted herself well. If years ago—
Lady Windermere	Oh! Crossing R.C. I don’t want details about her life!
Lord Windermere	C. I am not going to give you any details about her life. I tell you simply this—Mrs. Erlynne was once honoured, loved, respected. She was well born, she had position—she lost everything—threw it away, if you like. That makes it all the more bitter. Misfortunes one can endure—they come from outside, they are accidents. But to suffer for one’s own faults—ah!—there is the sting of life. It was twenty years ago, too. She was little more than a girl then. She had been a wife for even less time than you have.
Lady Windermere	I am not interested in her—and—you should not mention this woman and me in the same breath. It is an error of taste. Sitting R. at desk.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, you could save this woman. She wants to get back into society, and she wants you to help her. Crossing to her.
Lady Windermere	Me!
Lord Windermere	Yes, you.
Lady Windermere	How impertinent of her! A pause.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, I came to ask you a great favour, and I still ask it of you, though you have discovered what I had intended you should never have known that I have given Mrs. Erlynne a large sum of money. I want you to send her an invitation for our party tonight. Standing L. of her.
Lady Windermere	You are mad! Rises.
Lord Windermere	I entreat you. People may chatter about her, do chatter about her, of course, but they don’t know anything definite against her. She has been to several houses—not to houses where you would go, I admit, but still to houses where women who are in what is called Society nowadays do go. That does not content her. She wants you to receive her once.
Lady Windermere	As a triumph for her, I suppose?
Lord Windermere	No; but because she knows that you are a good woman—and that if she comes here once she will have a chance of a happier, a surer life than she has had. She will make no further effort to know you. Won’t you help a woman who is trying to get back?
Lady Windermere	No! If a woman really repents, she never wishes to return to the society that has made or seen her ruin.
Lord Windermere	I beg of you.
Lady Windermere	Crossing to door R. I am going to dress for dinner, and don’t mention the subject again this evening. Arthur going to him C., you fancy because I have no father or mother that I am alone in the world, and that you can treat me as you choose. You are wrong, I have friends, many friends.
Lord Windermere	L.C. Margaret, you are talking foolishly, recklessly. I won’t argue with you, but I insist upon your asking Mrs. Erlynne tonight.
Lady Windermere	R.C. I shall do nothing of the kind. Crossing L.C.
Lord Windermere	You refuse? C.
Lady Windermere	Absolutely!
Lord Windermere	Ah, Margaret, do this for my sake; it is her last chance.
Lady Windermere	What has that to do with me?
Lord Windermere	How hard good women are!
Lady Windermere	How weak bad men are!
Lord Windermere	Margaret, none of us men may be good enough for the women we marry—that is quite true—but you don’t imagine I would ever—oh, the suggestion is monstrous!
Lady Windermere	Why should you be different from other men? I am told that there is hardly a husband in London who does not waste his life over some shameful passion.
Lord Windermere	I am not one of them.
Lady Windermere	I am not sure of that!
Lord Windermere	You are sure in your heart. But don’t make chasm after chasm between us. God knows the last few minutes have thrust us wide enough apart. Sit down and write the card.
Lady Windermere	Nothing in the whole world would induce me.
Lord Windermere	Crossing to bureau. Then I will! Rings electric bell, sits and writes card.
Lady Windermere	You are going to invite this woman? Crossing to him.
Lord Windermere	Yes. Pause.
	Enter Parker.
	Parker!
Parker	Yes, my lord. Comes down L.C.
Lord Windermere	Have this note sent to Mrs. Erlynne at No. 84A Curzon Street. Crossing to L.C. and giving note to Parker. There is no answer!
	Exit Parker* C.*
Lady Windermere	Arthur, if that woman comes here, I shall insult her.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, don’t say that.
Lady Windermere	I mean it.
Lord Windermere	Child, if you did such a thing, there’s not a woman in London who wouldn’t pity you.
Lady Windermere	There is not a good woman in London who would not applaud me. We have been too lax. We must make an example. I propose to begin tonight. Picking up fan. Yes, you gave me this fan today; it was your birthday present. If that woman crosses my threshold, I shall strike her across the face with it.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, you couldn’t do such a thing.
Lady Windermere	You don’t know me! Moves R.
	Enter Parker.
	Parker!
Parker	Yes, my lady.
Lady Windermere	I shall dine in my own room. I don’t want dinner, in fact. See that everything is ready by half-past ten. And, Parker, be sure you pronounce the names of the guests very distinctly tonight. Sometimes you speak so fast that I miss them. I am particularly anxious to hear the names quite clearly, so as to make no mistake. You understand, Parker?
Parker	Yes, my lady.
Lady Windermere	That will do!
	Exit Parker* C.*
	Speaking to Lord Windermere. Arthur, if that woman comes here—I warn you—
Lord Windermere	Margaret, you’ll ruin us!
Lady Windermere	Us! From this moment my life is separate from yours. But if you wish to avoid a public scandal, write at once to this woman, and tell her that I forbid her to come here!
Lord Windermere	I will not—I cannot—she must come!
Lady Windermere	Then I shall do exactly as I have said. Goes R. You leave me no choice.
	Exit R.
Lord Windermere	Calling after her. Margaret! Margaret! A pause. My God! What shall I do? I dare not tell her who this woman really is. The shame would kill her. Sinks down into a chair and buries his face in his hands.

Act Drop

Act II

Scene: Drawing-room in Lord Windermere’s house. Door R.U. opening into ballroom, where band is playing. Door L. through which guests are entering. Door L.U. opens on to illuminated terrace. Palms, flowers, and brilliant lights. Room crowded with guests. Lady Windermere is receiving them.

The Duchess of Berwick	Up C. So strange Lord Windermere isn’t here. Mr. Hopper is very late, too. You have kept those five dances for him, Agatha? Comes down.
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Sitting on sofa. Just let me see your card. I’m so glad Lady Windermere has revived cards.—They’re a mother’s only safeguard. You dear simple little thing! Scratches out two names. No nice girl should ever waltz with such particularly younger sons! It looks so fast! The last two dances you might pass on the terrace with Mr. Hopper.
	Enter Mr. Dumby* and Lady Plymdale from the ballroom.*
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Fanning herself. The air is so pleasant there.
Parker	Mrs. Cowper-Cowper. Lady Stutfield. Sir James Royston. Mr. Guy Berkeley.
	These people enter as announced.
Dumby	Good evening, Lady Stutfield. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
Lady Stutfield	I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It’s been a delightful season, hasn’t it?
Dumby	Quite delightful! Good evening, Duchess. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
The Duchess of Berwick	I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It has been a very dull season, hasn’t it?
Dumby	Dreadfully dull! Dreadfully dull!
Mr. Cowper-Cowper	Good evening, Mr. Dumby. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
Dumby	Oh, I think not. There’ll probably be two more. Wanders back to Lady Plymdale.
Parker	Mr. Rufford. Lady Jedburgh and Miss Graham. Mr. Hopper.
	These people enter as announced.
Hopper	How do you do, Lady Windermere? How do you do, Duchess? Bows to Lady Agatha.
The Duchess of Berwick	Dear Mr. Hopper, how nice of you to come so early. We all know how you are run after in London.
Hopper	Capital place, London! They are not nearly so exclusive in London as they are in Sydney.
The Duchess of Berwick	Ah! we know your value, Mr. Hopper. We wish there were more like you. It would make life so much easier. Do you know, Mr. Hopper, dear Agatha and I are so much interested in Australia. It must be so pretty with all the dear little kangaroos flying about. Agatha has found it on the map. What a curious shape it is! Just like a large packing case. However, it is a very young country, isn’t it?
Hopper	Wasn’t it made at the same time as the others, Duchess?
The Duchess of Berwick	How clever you are, Mr. Hopper. You have a cleverness quite of your own. Now I mustn’t keep you.
Hopper	But I should like to dance with Lady Agatha, Duchess.
The Duchess of Berwick	Well, I hope she has a dance left. Have you a dance left, Agatha?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	The next one?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
Hopper	May I have the pleasure? Lady Agatha bows.
The Duchess of Berwick	Mind you take great care of my little chatterbox, Mr. Hopper.
	Lady Agatha and Mr. Hopper pass into ballroom.
	Enter Lord Windermere.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, I want to speak to you.
Lady Windermere	In a moment. The music drops.
Parker	Lord Augustus Lorton.
	Enter Lord Augustus.
Lord Augustus	Good evening, Lady Windermere.
The Duchess of Berwick	Sir James, will you take me into the ballroom? Augustus has been dining with us tonight. I really have had quite enough of dear Augustus for the moment.
	Sir James Royston gives the Duchess his arm and escorts her into the ballroom.
Parker	Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Bowden. Lord and Lady Paisley. Lord Darlington.
	These people enter as announced.
Lord Augustus	Coming up to Lord Windermere. Want to speak to you particularly, dear boy. I’m worn to a shadow. Know I don’t look it. None of us men do look what we really are. Demmed good thing, too. What I want to know is this. Who is she? Where does she come from? Why hasn’t she got any demmed relations? Demmed nuisance, relations! But they make one so demmed respectable.
Lord Windermere	You are talking of Mrs. Erlynne, I suppose? I only met her six months ago. Till then, I never knew of her existence.
Lord Augustus	You have seen a good deal of her since then.
Lord Windermere	Coldly. Yes, I have seen a good deal of her since then. I have just seen her.
Lord Augustus	Egad! the women are very down on her. I have been dining with Arabella this evening! By Jove! you should have heard what she said about Mrs. Erlynne. She didn’t leave a rag on her. … Aside. Berwick and I told her that didn’t matter much, as the lady in question must have an extremely fine figure. You should have seen Arabella’s expression! … But, look here, dear boy. I don’t know what to do about Mrs. Erlynne. Egad! I might be married to her; she treats me with such demmed indifference. She’s deuced clever, too! She explains everything. Egad! she explains you. She has got any amount of explanations for you—and all of them different.
Lord Windermere	No explanations are necessary about my friendship with Mrs. Erlynne.
Lord Augustus	Hem! Well, look here, dear old fellow. Do you think she will ever get into this demmed thing called Society? Would you introduce her to your wife? No use beating about the confounded bush. Would you do that?
Lord Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne is coming here tonight.
Lord Augustus	Your wife has sent her a card?
Lord Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne has received a card.
Lord Augustus	Then she’s all right, dear boy. But why didn’t you tell me that before? It would have saved me a heap of worry and demmed misunderstandings!
	Lady Agatha and Mr. Hopper cross and exit on terrace L.U.E.
Parker	Mr. Cecil Graham!
	Enter Mr. Cecil Graham.
Cecil Graham	Bows to Lady Windermere, passes over and shakes hands with Lord Windermere. Good evening, Arthur. Why don’t you ask me how I am? I like people to ask me how I am. It shows a widespread interest in my health. Now, tonight I am not at all well. Been dining with my people. Wonder why it is one’s people are always so tedious? My father would talk morality after dinner. I told him he was old enough to know better. But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don’t know anything at all. Hallo, Tuppy! Hear you’re going to be married again; thought you were tired of that game.
Lord Augustus	You’re excessively trivial, my dear boy, excessively trivial!
Cecil Graham	By the way, Tuppy, which is it? Have you been twice married and once divorced, or twice divorced and once married? I say you’ve been twice divorced and once married. It seems so much more probable.
Lord Augustus	I have a very bad memory. I really don’t remember which. Moves away R.
Lady Plymdale	Lord Windermere, I’ve something most particular to ask you.
Lord Windermere	I am afraid—if you will excuse me—I must join my wife.
Lady Plymdale	Oh, you mustn’t dream of such a thing. It’s most dangerous nowadays for a husband to pay any attention to his wife in public. It always makes people think that he beats her when they’re alone. The world has grown so suspicious of anything that looks like a happy married life. But I’ll tell you what it is at supper. Moves towards door of ballroom.
Lord Windermere	C. Margaret! I must speak to you.
Lady Windermere	Will you hold my fan for me, Lord Darlington? Thanks. Comes down to him.
Lord Windermere	Crossing to her. Margaret, what you said before dinner was, of course, impossible?
Lady Windermere	That woman is not coming here tonight!
Lord Windermere	R.C. Mrs. Erlynne is coming here, and if you in any way annoy or wound her, you will bring shame and sorrow on us both. Remember that! Ah, Margaret! only trust me! A wife should trust her husband!
Lady Windermere	C. London is full of women who trust their husbands. One can always recognise them. They look so thoroughly unhappy. I am not going to be one of them. Moves up. Lord Darlington, will you give me back my fan, please? Thanks. … A useful thing a fan, isn’t it? … I want a friend tonight, Lord Darlington: I didn’t know I would want one so soon.
Lord Darlington	Lady Windermere! I knew the time would come some day; but why tonight?
Lord Windermere	I will tell her. I must. It would be terrible if there were any scene. Margaret …
Parker	Mrs. Erlynne!
	Lord Windermere starts. Mrs. Erlynne enters, very beautifully dressed and very dignified. Lady Windermere clutches at her fan, then lets it drop on the door. She bows coldly to Mrs. Erlynne, who bows to her sweetly in turn, and sails into the room.
Lord Darlington	You have dropped your fan, Lady Windermere. Picks it up and hands it to her.
Mrs. Erlynne	C. How do you do, again, Lord Windermere? How charming your sweet wife looks! Quite a picture!
Lord Windermere	In a low voice. It was terribly rash of you to come!
Mrs. Erlynne	Smiling. The wisest thing I ever did in my life. And, by the way, you must pay me a good deal of attention this evening. I am afraid of the women. You must introduce me to some of them. The men I can always manage. How do you do, Lord Augustus? You have quite neglected me lately. I have not seen you since yesterday. I am afraid you’re faithless. Everyone told me so.
Lord Augustus	R. Now really, Mrs. Erlynne, allow me to explain.
Mrs. Erlynne	R.C. No, dear Lord Augustus, you can’t explain anything. It is your chief charm.
Lord Augustus	Ah! if you find charms in me, Mrs. Erlynne—
	They converse together. Lord Windermere* moves uneasily about the room watching Mrs. Erlynne.*
Lord Darlington	To Lady Windermere. How pale you are!
Lady Windermere	Cowards are always pale!
Lord Darlington	You look faint. Come out on the terrace.
Lady Windermere	Yes. To Parker. Parker, send my cloak out.
Mrs. Erlynne	Crossing to her. Lady Windermere, how beautifully your terrace is illuminated. Reminds me of Prince Doria’s at Rome.
	Lady Windermere bows coldly, and goes off with Lord Darlington.
	Oh, how do you do, Mr. Graham? Isn’t that your aunt, Lady Jedburgh? I should so much like to know her.
Cecil Graham	After a moment’s hesitation and embarrassment. Oh, certainly, if you wish it. Aunt Caroline, allow me to introduce Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	So pleased to meet you, Lady Jedburgh. Sits beside her on the sofa. Your nephew and I are great friends. I am so much interested in his political career. I think he’s sure to be a wonderful success. He thinks like a Tory, and talks like a Radical, and that’s so important nowadays. He’s such a brilliant talker, too. But we all know from whom he inherits that. Lord Allandale was saying to me only yesterday, in the Park, that Mr. Graham talks almost as well as his aunt.
Lady Jedburgh	R. Most kind of you to say these charming things to me! Mrs. Erlynne smiles, and continues conversation.
Dumby	To Cecil Graham. Did you introduce Mrs. Erlynne to Lady Jedburgh?
Cecil Graham	Had to, my dear fellow. Couldn’t help it! That woman can make one do anything she wants. How, I don’t know.
Dumby	Hope to goodness she won’t speak to me! Saunters towards Lady Plymdale.
Mrs. Erlynne	C. To Lady Jedburgh. On Thursday? With great pleasure. Rises, and speaks to Lord Windermere, laughing. What a bore it is to have to be civil to these old dowagers! But they always insist on it!
Lady Plymdale	To Mr. Dumby. Who is that well-dressed woman talking to Windermere?
Dumby	Haven’t got the slightest idea! Looks like an édition de luxe of a wicked French novel, meant specially for the English market.
Mrs. Erlynne	So that is poor Dumby with Lady Plymdale? I hear she is frightfully jealous of him. He doesn’t seem anxious to speak to me tonight. I suppose he is afraid of her. Those straw-coloured women have dreadful tempers. Do you know, I think I’ll dance with you first, Windermere. Lord Windermere bites his lip and frowns. It will make Lord Augustus so jealous! Lord Augustus! Lord Augustus comes down. Lord Windermere insists on my dancing with him first, and, as it’s his own house, I can’t well refuse. You know I would much sooner dance with you.
Lord Augustus	With a low bow. I wish I could think so, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	You know it far too well. I can fancy a person dancing through life with you and finding it charming.
Lord Augustus	Placing his hand on his white waistcoat. Oh, thank you, thank you. You are the most adorable of all ladies!
Mrs. Erlynne	What a nice speech! So simple and so sincere! Just the sort of speech I like. Well, you shall hold my bouquet. Goes towards ballroom on Lord Windermere’s* arm.* Ah, Mr. Dumby, how are you? I am so sorry I have been out the last three times you have called. Come and lunch on Friday.
Dumby	With perfect nonchalance. Delighted!
	Lady Plymdale glares with indignation at Mr. Dumby. Lord Augustus follows Mrs. Erlynne and Lord Windermere into the ballroom holding bouquet.
Lady Plymdale	To Mr. Dumby. What an absolute brute you are! I never can believe a word you say! Why did you tell me you didn’t know her? What do you mean by calling on her three times running? You are not to go to lunch there; of course you understand that?
Dumby	My dear Laura, I wouldn’t dream of going!
Lady Plymdale	You haven’t told me her name yet! Who is she?
Dumby	Coughs slightly and smooths his hair. She’s a Mrs. Erlynne.
Lady Plymdale	That woman!
Dumby	Yes; that is what everyone calls her.
Lady Plymdale	How very interesting! How intensely interesting! I really must have a good stare at her. Goes to door of ballroom and looks in. I have heard the most shocking things about her. They say she is ruining poor Windermere. And Lady Windermere, who goes in for being so proper, invites her! How extremely amusing! It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing. You are to lunch there on Friday!
Dumby	Why?
Lady Plymdale	Because I want you to take my husband with you. He has been so attentive lately, that he has become a perfect nuisance. Now, this woman is just the thing for him. He’ll dance attendance upon her as long as she lets him, and won’t bother me. I assure you, women of that kind are most useful. They form the basis of other people’s marriages.
Dumby	What a mystery you are!
Lady Plymdale	Looking at him. I wish you were!
Dumby	I am—to myself. I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly; but I don’t see any chance of it just at present.
	They pass into the ballroom, and Lady Windermere* and Lord Darlington enter from the terrace.*
Lady Windermere	Yes. Her coming here is monstrous, unbearable. I know now what you meant today at teatime. Why didn’t you tell me right out? You should have!
Lord Darlington	I couldn’t! A man can’t tell these things about another man! But if I had known he was going to make you ask her here tonight, I think I would have told you. That insult, at any rate, you would have been spared.
Lady Windermere	I did not ask her. He insisted on her coming—against my entreaties—against my commands. Oh! the house is tainted for me! I feel that every woman here sneers at me as she dances by with my husband. What have I done to deserve this? I gave him all my life. He took it—used it—spoiled it! I am degraded in my own eyes; and I lack courage—I am a coward! Sits down on sofa.
Lord Darlington	If I know you at all, I know that you can’t live with a man who treats you like this! What sort of life would you have with him? You would feel that he was lying to you every moment of the day. You would feel that the look in his eyes was false, his voice false, his touch false, his passion false. He would come to you when he was weary of others; you would have to comfort him. He would come to you when he was devoted to others; you would have to charm him. You would have to be to him the mask of his real life, the cloak to hide his secret.
Lady Windermere	You are right—you are terribly right. But where am I to turn? You said you would be my friend, Lord Darlington.—Tell me, what am I to do? Be my friend now.
Lord Darlington	Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. I love you—
Lady Windermere	No, no! Rises.
Lord Darlington	Yes, I love you! You are more to me than anything in the whole world. What does your husband give you? Nothing. Whatever is in him he gives to this wretched woman, whom he has thrust into your society, into your home, to shame you before everyone. I offer you my life—
Lady Windermere	Lord Darlington!
Lord Darlington	My life—my whole life. Take it, and do with it what you will. … I love you—love you as I have never loved any living thing. From the moment I met you I loved you, loved you blindly, adoringly, madly! You did not know it then—you know it now! Leave this house tonight. I won’t tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world’s voice, or the voice of society. They matter a great deal. They matter far too much. But there are moments when one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You have that moment now. Choose! Oh, my love, choose.
Lady Windermere	Moving slowly away from him, and looking at him with startled eyes. I have not the courage.
Lord Darlington	Following her. Yes; you have the courage. There may be six months of pain, of disgrace even, but when you no longer bear his name, when you bear mine, all will be well. Margaret, my love, my wife that shall be some day—yes, my wife! You know it! What are you now? This woman has the place that belongs by right to you. Oh! go—go out of this house, with head erect, with a smile upon your lips, with courage in your eyes. All London will know why you did it; and who will blame you? No one. If they do, what matter? Wrong? What is wrong? It’s wrong for a man to abandon his wife for a shameless woman. It is wrong for a wife to remain with a man who so dishonours her. You said once you would make no compromise with things. Make none now. Be brave! Be yourself!
Lady Windermere	I am afraid of being myself. Let me think! Let me wait! My husband may return to me. Sits down on sofa.
Lord Darlington	And you would take him back! You are not what I thought you were. You are just the same as every other woman. You would stand anything rather than face the censure of a world, whose praise you would despise. In a week you will be driving with this woman in the Park. She will be your constant guest—your dearest friend. You would endure anything rather than break with one blow this monstrous tie. You are right. You have no courage; none!
Lady Windermere	Ah, give me time to think. I cannot answer you now. Passes her hand nervously over her brow.
Lord Darlington	It must be now or not at all.
Lady Windermere	Rising from the sofa. Then, not at all! A pause.
Lord Darlington	You break my heart!
Lady Windermere	Mine is already broken. A pause.
Lord Darlington	Tomorrow I leave England. This is the last time I shall ever look on you. You will never see me again. For one moment our lives met—our souls touched. They must never meet or touch again. Goodbye, Margaret. Exit.
Lady Windermere	How alone I am in life! How terribly alone!
	The music stops. Enter the The Duchess of Berwick* and Lord Paisley laughing and talking. Other guests come on from ballroom.*
The Duchess of Berwick	Dear Margaret, I’ve just been having such a delightful chat with Mrs. Erlynne. I am so sorry for what I said to you this afternoon about her. Of course, she must be all right if you invite her. A most attractive woman, and has such sensible views on life. Told me she entirely disapproved of people marrying more than once, so I feel quite safe about poor Augustus. Can’t imagine why people speak against her. It’s those horrid nieces of mine—the Saville girls—they’re always talking scandal. Still, I should go to Homburg, dear, I really should. She is just a little too attractive. But where is Agatha? Oh, there she is: Lady Agatha and Mr. Hopper enter from terrace L.U.E. Mr. Hopper, I am very, very angry with you. You have taken Agatha out on the terrace, and she is so delicate.
Hopper	Awfully sorry, Duchess. We went out for a moment and then got chatting together.
The Duchess of Berwick	C. Ah, about dear Australia, I suppose?
Hopper	Yes!
The Duchess of Berwick	Agatha, darling! Beckons her over.
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma!
The Duchess of Berwick	Aside. Did Mr. Hopper definitely—
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	And what answer did you give him, dear child?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Affectionately. My dear one! You always say the right thing. Mr. Hopper! James! Agatha has told me everything. How cleverly you have both kept your secret.
Hopper	You don’t mind my taking Agatha off to Australia, then, Duchess?
The Duchess of Berwick	Indignantly. To Australia? Oh, don’t mention that dreadful vulgar place.
Hopper	But she said she’d like to come with me.
The Duchess of Berwick	Severely. Did you say that, Agatha?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Agatha, you say the most silly things possible. I think on the whole that Grosvenor Square would be a more healthy place to reside in. There are lots of vulgar people live in Grosvenor Square, but at any rate there are no horrid kangaroos crawling about. But we’ll talk about that tomorrow. James, you can take Agatha down. You’ll come to lunch, of course, James. At half-past one, instead of two. The Duke will wish to say a few words to you, I am sure.
Hopper	I should like to have a chat with the Duke, Duchess. He has not said a single word to me yet.
The Duchess of Berwick	I think you’ll find he will have a great deal to say to you tomorrow. Exit Lady Agatha* with Mr. Hopper.* And now good night, Margaret. I’m afraid it’s the old, old story, dear. Love—well, not love at first sight, but love at the end of the season, which is so much more satisfactory.
Lady Windermere	Good night, Duchess.
	Exit the The Duchess of Berwick* on Lord Paisley’s arm.*
Lady Plymdale	My dear Margaret, what a handsome woman your husband has been dancing with! I should be quite jealous if I were you! Is she a great friend of yours?
Lady Windermere	No!
Lady Plymdale	Really? Good night, dear. Looks at Mr. Dumby* and exit.*
Dumby	Awful manners young Hopper has!
Cecil Graham	Ah! Hopper is one of Nature’s gentlemen, the worst type of gentleman I know.
Dumby	Sensible woman, Lady Windermere. Lots of wives would have objected to Mrs. Erlynne coming. But Lady Windermere has that uncommon thing called common sense.
Cecil Graham	And Windermere knows that nothing looks so like innocence as an indiscretion.
Dumby	Yes; dear Windermere is becoming almost modern. Never thought he would. Bows to Lady Windermere* and exit.*
Lady Jedburgh	Good night, Lady Windermere. What a fascinating woman Mrs. Erlynne is! She is coming to lunch on Thursday, won’t you come too? I expect the Bishop and dear Lady Merton.
Lady Windermere	I am afraid I am engaged, Lady Jedburgh.
Lady Jedburgh	So sorry. Come, dear. Exeunt Lady Jedburgh* and Miss Graham.*
	Enter Mrs. Erlynne* and Lord Windermere.*
Mrs. Erlynne	Charming ball it has been! Quite reminds me of old days. Sits on sofa. And I see that there are just as many fools in society as there used to be. So pleased to find that nothing has altered! Except Margaret. She’s grown quite pretty. The last time I saw her—twenty years ago, she was a fright in flannel. Positive fright, I assure you. The dear Duchess! and that sweet Lady Agatha! Just the type of girl I like! Well, really, Windermere, if I am to be the Duchess’s sister-in-law—
Lord Windermere	Sitting L. of her. But are you—?
	Exit Mr. Cecil Graham* with rest of guests. Lady Windermere watches, with a look of scorn and pain, Mrs. Erlynne and her husband. They are unconscious of her presence.*
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh, yes! He’s to call tomorrow at twelve o’clock! He wanted to propose tonight. In fact he did. He kept on proposing. Poor Augustus, you know how he repeats himself. Such a bad habit! But I told him I wouldn’t give him an answer till tomorrow. Of course I am going to take him. And I dare say I’ll make him an admirable wife, as wives go. And there is a great deal of good in Lord Augustus. Fortunately it is all on the surface. Just where good qualities should be. Of course you must help me in this matter.
Lord Windermere	I am not called on to encourage Lord Augustus, I suppose?
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh, no! I do the encouraging. But you will make me a handsome settlement, Windermere, won’t you?
Lord Windermere	Frowning. Is that what you want to talk to me about tonight?
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes.
Lord Windermere	With a gesture of impatience. I will not talk of it here.
Mrs. Erlynne	Laughing. Then we will talk of it on the terrace. Even business should have a picturesque background. Should it not, Windermere? With a proper background women can do anything.
Lord Windermere	Won’t tomorrow do as well?
Mrs. Erlynne	No; you see, tomorrow I am going to accept him. And I think it would be a good thing if I was able to tell him that I had—well, what shall I say?—£2,000 a year left to me by a third cousin—or a second husband—or some distant relative of that kind. It would be an additional attraction, wouldn’t it? You have a delightful opportunity now of paying me a compliment, Windermere. But you are not very clever at paying compliments. I am afraid Margaret doesn’t encourage you in that excellent habit. It’s a great mistake on her part. When men give up saying what is charming, they give up thinking what is charming. But seriously, what do you say to £2,000? £2,500, I think. In modern life margin is everything. Windermere, don’t you think the world an intensely amusing place? I do!
	Exit on terrace with Lord Windermere. Music strikes up in ballroom.
Lady Windermere	To stay in this house any longer is impossible. Tonight a man who loves me offered me his whole life. I refused it. It was foolish of me. I will offer him mine now. I will give him mine. I will go to him! Puts on cloak and goes to the door, then turns back. Sits down at table and writes a letter, puts it into an envelope, and leaves it on table. Arthur has never understood me. When he reads this, he will. He may do as he chooses now with his life. I have done with mine as I think best, as I think right. It is he who has broken the bond of marriage—not I. I only break its bondage.
	Exit.
	Parker enters L. and crosses towards the ballroom R. Enter Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	Is Lady Windermere in the ballroom?
Parker	Her ladyship has just gone out.
Mrs. Erlynne	Gone out? She’s not on the terrace?
Parker	No, madam. Her ladyship has just gone out of the house.
Mrs. Erlynne	Starts, and looks at the servant with a puzzled expression in her face. Out of the house?
Parker	Yes, madam—her ladyship told me she had left a letter for his lordship on the table.
Mrs. Erlynne	A letter for Lord Windermere?
Parker	Yes, madam.
Mrs. Erlynne	Thank you.
	Exit Parker. The music in the ballroom stops. Gone out of her house! A letter addressed to her husband! Goes over to bureau and looks at letter. Takes it up and lays it down again with a shudder of fear. No, no! It would be impossible! Life doesn’t repeat its tragedies like that! Oh, why does this horrible fancy come across me? Why do I remember now the one moment of my life I most wish to forget? Does life repeat its tragedies? Tears letter open and reads it, then sinks down into a chair with a gesture of anguish. Oh, how terrible! The same words that twenty years ago I wrote to her father! and how bitterly I have been punished for it! No; my punishment, my real punishment is tonight, is now! Still seated R.
	Enter Lord Windermere* L.U.E.*
Lord Windermere	Have you said good night to my wife? Comes C.
Mrs. Erlynne	Crushing letter in her hand. Yes.
Lord Windermere	Where is she?
Mrs. Erlynne	She is very tired. She has gone to bed. She said she had a headache.
Lord Windermere	I must go to her. You’ll excuse me?
Mrs. Erlynne	Rising hurriedly. Oh, no! It’s nothing serious. She’s only very tired, that is all. Besides, there are people still in the supper-room. She wants you to make her apologies to them. She said she didn’t wish to be disturbed. Drops letter. She asked me to tell you!
Lord Windermere	Picks up letter. You have dropped something.
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh yes, thank you, that is mine. Puts out her hand to take it.
Lord Windermere	Still looking at letter. But it’s my wife’s handwriting, isn’t it?
Mrs. Erlynne	Takes the letter quickly. Yes, it’s—an address. Will you ask them to call my carriage, please?
Lord Windermere	Certainly.
	Goes L. and Exit.
Mrs. Erlynne	Thanks! What can I do? What can I do? I feel a passion awakening within me that I never felt before. What can it mean? The daughter must not be like the mother—that would be terrible. How can I save her? How can I save my child? A moment may ruin a life. Who knows that better than I? Windermere must be got out of the house; that is absolutely necessary. Goes L. But how shall I do it? It must be done somehow. Ah!
	Enter Lord Augustus* R.U.E. carrying bouquet.*
Lord Augustus	Dear lady, I am in such suspense! May I not have an answer to my request?
Mrs. Erlynne	Lord Augustus, listen to me. You are to take Lord Windermere down to your club at once, and keep him there as long as possible. You understand?
Lord Augustus	But you said you wished me to keep early hours!
Mrs. Erlynne	Nervously. Do what I tell you. Do what I tell you.
Lord Augustus	And my reward?
Mrs. Erlynne	Your reward? Your reward? Oh! ask me that tomorrow. But don’t let Windermere out of your sight tonight. If you do I will never forgive you. I will never speak to you again. I’ll have nothing to do with you. Remember you are to keep Windermere at your club, and don’t let him come back tonight.
	Exit L.
Lord Augustus	Well, really, I might be her husband already. Positively I might. Follows her in a bewildered manner.

Act Drop

Act III

Scene: Lord Darlington’s Rooms. A large sofa is in front of fireplace R. At the back of the stage a curtain is drawn across the window. Doors L. and R. Table R. with writing materials. Table C. with syphons, glasses, and Tantalus frame. Table L. with cigar and cigarette box. Lamps lit.

Lady Windermere	Standing by the fireplace. Why doesn’t he come? This waiting is horrible. He should be here. Why is he not here, to wake by passionate words some fire within me? I am cold—cold as a loveless thing. Arthur must have read my letter by this time. If he cared for me, he would have come after me, would have taken me back by force. But he doesn’t care. He’s entrammelled by this woman—fascinated by her—dominated by her. If a woman wants to hold a man, she has merely to appeal to what is worst in him. We make gods of men and they leave us. Others make brutes of them and they fawn and are faithful. How hideous life is! … Oh! it was mad of me to come here, horribly mad. And yet, which is the worst, I wonder, to be at the mercy of a man who loves one, or the wife of a man who in one’s own house dishonours one? What woman knows? What woman in the whole world? But will he love me always, this man to whom I am giving my life? What do I bring him? Lips that have lost the note of joy, eyes that are blinded by tears, chill hands and icy heart. I bring him nothing. I must go back—no; I can’t go back, my letter has put me in their power—Arthur would not take me back! That fatal letter! No! Lord Darlington leaves England tomorrow. I will go with him—I have no choice. Sits down for a few moments. Then starts up and puts on her cloak. No, no! I will go back, let Arthur do with me what he pleases. I can’t wait here. It has been madness my coming. I must go at once. As for Lord Darlington—Oh! here he is! What shall I do? What can I say to him? Will he let me go away at all? I have heard that men are brutal, horrible … Oh! Hides her face in her hands.
	Enter Mrs. Erlynne* L.*
Mrs. Erlynne	Lady Windermere! Lady Windermere starts and looks up. Then recoils in contempt. Thank Heaven I am in time. You must go back to your husband’s house immediately.
Lady Windermere	Must?
Mrs. Erlynne	Authoritatively. Yes, you must! There is not a second to be lost. Lord Darlington may return at any moment.
Lady Windermere	Don’t come near me!
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh! You are on the brink of ruin, you are on the brink of a hideous precipice. You must leave this place at once, my carriage is waiting at the corner of the street. You must come with me and drive straight home.
	Lady Windermere throws off her cloak and flings it on the sofa.
	What are you doing?
Lady Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne—if you had not come here, I would have gone back. But now that I see you, I feel that nothing in the whole world would induce me to live under the same roof as Lord Windermere. You fill me with horror. There is something about you that stirs the wildest—rage within me. And I know why you are here. My husband sent you to lure me back that I might serve as a blind to whatever relations exist between you and him.
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh! You don’t think that—you can’t.
Lady Windermere	Go back to my husband, Mrs. Erlynne. He belongs to you and not to me. I suppose he is afraid of a scandal. Men are such cowards. They outrage every law of the world, and are afraid of the world’s tongue. But he had better prepare himself. He shall have a scandal. He shall have the worst scandal there has been in London for years. He shall see his name in every vile paper, mine on every hideous placard.
Mrs. Erlynne	No—no—
Lady Windermere	Yes! he shall. Had he come himself, I admit I would have gone back to the life of degradation you and he had prepared for me—I was going back—but to stay himself at home, and to send you as his messenger—oh! it was infamous—infamous.
Mrs. Erlynne	C. Lady Windermere, you wrong me horribly—you wrong your husband horribly. He doesn’t know you are here—he thinks you are safe in your own house. He thinks you are asleep in your own room. He never read the mad letter you wrote to him!
Lady Windermere	R. Never read it!
Mrs. Erlynne	No—he knows nothing about it.
Lady Windermere	How simple you think me! Going to her. You are lying to me!
Mrs. Erlynne	Restraining herself. I am not. I am telling you the truth.
Lady Windermere	If my husband didn’t read my letter, how is it that you are here? Who told you I had left the house you were shameless enough to enter? Who told you where I had gone to? My husband told you, and sent you to decoy me back. Crosses L.
Mrs. Erlynne	R.C. Your husband has never seen the letter. I—saw it, I opened it. I—read it.
Lady Windermere	Turning to her. You opened a letter of mine to my husband? You wouldn’t dare!
Mrs. Erlynne	Dare! Oh! to save you from the abyss into which you are falling, there is nothing in the world I would not dare, nothing in the whole world. Here is the letter. Your husband has never read it. He never shall read it. Going to fireplace. It should never have been written. Tears it and throws it into the fire.
Lady Windermere	With infinite contempt in her voice and look. How do I know that that was my letter after all? You seem to think the commonest device can take me in!
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh! why do you disbelieve everything I tell you? What object do you think I have in coming here, except to save you from utter ruin, to save you from the consequence of a hideous mistake? That letter that is burnt now was your letter. I swear it to you!
Lady Windermere	Slowly. You took good care to burn it before I had examined it. I cannot trust you. You, whose whole life is a lie, could you speak the truth about anything? Sits down.
Mrs. Erlynne	Hurriedly. Think as you like about me—say what you choose against me, but go back, go back to the husband you love.
Lady Windermere	Sullenly. I do not love him!
Mrs. Erlynne	You do, and you know that he loves you.
Lady Windermere	He does not understand what love is. He understands it as little as you do—but I see what you want. It would be a great advantage for you to get me back. Dear Heaven! what a life I would have then! Living at the mercy of a woman who has neither mercy nor pity in her, a woman whom it is an infamy to meet, a degradation to know, a vile woman, a woman who comes between husband and wife!
Mrs. Erlynne	With a gesture of despair. Lady Windermere, Lady Windermere, don’t say such terrible things. You don’t know how terrible they are, how terrible and how unjust. Listen, you must listen! Only go back to your husband, and I promise you never to communicate with him again on any pretext—never to see him—never to have anything to do with his life or yours. The money that he gave me, he gave me not through love, but through hatred, not in worship, but in contempt. The hold I have over him—
Lady Windermere	Rising. Ah! you admit you have a hold!
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes, and I will tell you what it is. It is his love for you, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	You expect me to believe that?
Mrs. Erlynne	You must believe it! It is true. It is his love for you that has made him submit to—oh! call it what you like, tyranny, threats, anything you choose. But it is his love for you. His desire to spare you—shame, yes, shame and disgrace.
Lady Windermere	What do you mean? You are insolent! What have I to do with you?
Mrs. Erlynne	Humbly. Nothing. I know it—but I tell you that your husband loves you—that you may never meet with such love again in your whole life—that such love you will never meet—and that if you throw it away, the day may come when you will starve for love and it will not be given to you, beg for love and it will be denied you—Oh! Arthur loves you!
Lady Windermere	Arthur? And you tell me there is nothing between you?
Mrs. Erlynne	Lady Windermere, before Heaven your husband is guiltless of all offence towards you! And I—I tell you that had it ever occurred to me that such a monstrous suspicion would have entered your mind, I would have died rather than have crossed your life or his—oh! died, gladly died! Moves away to sofa R.
Lady Windermere	You talk as if you had a heart. Women like you have no hearts. Heart is not in you. You are bought and sold. Sits L.C.
Mrs. Erlynne	Starts, with a gesture of pain. Then restrains herself, and comes over to where Lady Windermere* is sitting. As she speaks, she stretches out her hands towards her, but does not dare to touch her.* Believe what you choose about me. I am not worth a moment’s sorrow. But don’t spoil your beautiful young life on my account! You don’t know what may be in store for you, unless you leave this house at once. You don’t know what it is to fall into the pit, to be despised, mocked, abandoned, sneered at—to be an outcast! to find the door shut against one, to have to creep in by hideous byways, afraid every moment lest the mask should be stripped from one’s face, and all the while to hear the laughter, the horrible laughter of the world, a thing more tragic than all the tears the world has ever shed. You don’t know what it is. One pays for one’s sin, and then one pays again, and all one’s life one pays. You must never know that.—As for me, if suffering be an expiation, then at this moment I have expiated all my faults, whatever they have been; for tonight you have made a heart in one who had it not, made it and broken it.—But let that pass. I may have wrecked my own life, but I will not let you wreck yours. You—why, you are a mere girl, you would be lost. You haven’t got the kind of brains that enables a woman to get back. You have neither the wit nor the courage. You couldn’t stand dishonour! No! Go back, Lady Windermere, to the husband who loves you, whom you love. You have a child, Lady Windermere. Go back to that child who even now, in pain or in joy, may be calling to you. Lady Windermere rises. God gave you that child. He will require from you that you make his life fine, that you watch over him. What answer will you make to God if his life is ruined through you? Back to your house, Lady Windermere—your husband loves you! He has never swerved for a moment from the love he bears you. But even if he had a thousand loves, you must stay with your child. If he was harsh to you, you must stay with your child. If he ill-treated you, you must stay with your child. If he abandoned you, your place is with your child.
	Lady Windermere bursts into tears and buries her face in her hands.
	Rushing to her. Lady Windermere!
Lady Windermere	Holding out her hands to her, helplessly, as a child might do. Take me home. Take me home.
Mrs. Erlynne	Is about to embrace her. Then restrains herself. There is a look of wonderful joy in her face. Come! Where is your cloak? Getting it from sofa. Here. Put it on. Come at once!
	They go to the door.
Lady Windermere	Stop! Don’t you hear voices?
Mrs. Erlynne	No, no! There was no one!
Lady Windermere	Yes, there is! Listen! Oh! that is my husband’s voice! He is coming in! Save me! Oh, it’s some plot! You have sent for him.
	Voices outside.
Mrs. Erlynne	Silence! I’m here to save you, if I can. But I fear it is too late! There! Points to the curtain across the window. The first chance you have, slip out, if you ever get a chance!
Lady Windermere	But you?
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh! never mind me. I’ll face them.
	Lady Windermere hides herself behind the curtain.
Lord Augustus	Outside. Nonsense, dear Windermere, you must not leave me!
Mrs. Erlynne	Lord Augustus! Then it is I who am lost! Hesitates for a moment, then looks round and sees door R., and exits through it.
	Enter Lord Darlington, Mr. Dumby, Lord Windermere, Lord Augustus Lorton, and Mr. Cecil Graham.
Dumby	What a nuisance their turning us out of the club at this hour! It’s only two o’clock. Sinks into a chair. The lively part of the evening is only just beginning. Yawns and closes his eyes.
Lord Windermere	It is very good of you, Lord Darlington, allowing Augustus to force our company on you, but I’m afraid I can’t stay long.
Lord Darlington	Really! I am so sorry! You’ll take a cigar, won’t you?
Lord Windermere	Thanks! Sits down.
Lord Augustus	To Lord Windermere. My dear boy, you must not dream of going. I have a great deal to talk to you about, of demmed importance, too. Sits down with him at L. table.
Cecil Graham	Oh! We all know what that is! Tuppy can’t talk about anything but Mrs. Erlynne.
Lord Windermere	Well, that is no business of yours, is it, Cecil?
Cecil Graham	None! That is why it interests me. My own business always bores me to death. I prefer other people’s.
Lord Darlington	Have something to drink, you fellows. Cecil, you’ll have a whisky and soda?
Cecil Graham	Thanks. Goes to table with Lord Darlington. Mrs. Erlynne looked very handsome tonight, didn’t she?
Lord Darlington	I am not one of her admirers.
Cecil Graham	I usen’t to be, but I am now. Why! she actually made me introduce her to poor dear Aunt Caroline. I believe she is going to lunch there.
Lord Darlington	In Purple. No?
Cecil Graham	She is, really.
Lord Darlington	Excuse me, you fellows. I’m going away tomorrow. And I have to write a few letters. Goes to writing table and sits down.
Dumby	Clever woman, Mrs. Erlynne.
Cecil Graham	Hallo, Dumby! I thought you were asleep.
Dumby	I am, I usually am!
Lord Augustus	A very clever woman. Knows perfectly well what a demmed fool I am—knows it as well as I do myself.
	Cecil Graham comes towards him laughing.
	Ah, you may laugh, my boy, but it is a great thing to come across a woman who thoroughly understands one.
Dumby	It is an awfully dangerous thing. They always end by marrying one.
Cecil Graham	But I thought, Tuppy, you were never going to see her again! Yes! you told me so yesterday evening at the club. You said you’d heard—
	Whispering to him.
Lord Augustus	Oh, she’s explained that.
Cecil Graham	And the Wiesbaden affair?
Lord Augustus	She’s explained that too.
Dumby	And her income, Tuppy? Has she explained that?
Lord Augustus	In a very serious voice. She’s going to explain that tomorrow.
	Cecil Graham goes back to C. table.
Dumby	Awfully commercial, women nowadays. Our grandmothers threw their caps over the mills, of course, but, by Jove, their granddaughters only throw their caps over mills that can raise the wind for them.
Lord Augustus	You want to make her out a wicked woman. She is not!
Cecil Graham	Oh! Wicked women bother one. Good women bore one. That is the only difference between them.
Lord Augustus	Puffing a cigar. Mrs. Erlynne has a future before her.
Dumby	Mrs. Erlynne has a past before her.
Lord Augustus	I prefer women with a past. They’re always so demmed amusing to talk to.
Cecil Graham	Well, you’ll have lots of topics of conversation with her, Tuppy. Rising and going to him.
Lord Augustus	You’re getting annoying, dear-boy; you’re getting demmed annoying.
Cecil Graham	Puts his hands on his shoulders. Now, Tuppy, you’ve lost your figure and you’ve lost your character. Don’t lose your temper; you have only got one.
Lord Augustus	My dear boy, if I wasn’t the most good-natured man in London—
Cecil Graham	We’d treat you with more respect, wouldn’t we, Tuppy? Strolls away.
Dumby	The youth of the present day are quite monstrous. They have absolutely no respect for dyed hair. Lord Augustus looks round angrily.
Cecil Graham	Mrs. Erlynne has a very great respect for dear Tuppy.
Dumby	Then Mrs. Erlynne sets an admirable example to the rest of her sex. It is perfectly brutal the way most women nowadays behave to men who are not their husbands.
Lord Windermere	Dumby, you are ridiculous, and Cecil, you let your tongue run away with you. You must leave Mrs. Erlynne alone. You don’t really know anything about her, and you’re always talking scandal against her.
Cecil Graham	Coming towards him L.C. My dear Arthur, I never talk scandal. I only talk gossip.
Lord Windermere	What is the difference between scandal and gossip?
Cecil Graham	Oh! gossip is charming! History is merely gossip. But scandal is gossip made tedious by morality. Now, I never moralise. A man who moralises is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralises is invariably plain. There is nothing in the whole world so unbecoming to a woman as a Nonconformist conscience. And most women know it, I’m glad to say.
Lord Augustus	Just my sentiments, dear boy, just my sentiments.
Cecil Graham	Sorry to hear it, Tuppy; whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.
Lord Augustus	My dear boy, when I was your age—
Cecil Graham	But you never were, Tuppy, and you never will be. Goes up C. I say, Darlington, let us have some cards. You’ll play, Arthur, won’t you?
Lord Windermere	No, thanks, Cecil.
Dumby	With a sigh. Good heavens! how marriage ruins a man! It’s as demoralising as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
Cecil Graham	You’ll play, of course, Tuppy?
Lord Augustus	Pouring himself out a brandy and soda at table. Can’t, dear boy. Promised Mrs. Erlynne never to play or drink again.
Cecil Graham	Now, my dear Tuppy, don’t be led astray into the paths of virtue. Reformed, you would be perfectly tedious. That is the worst of women. They always want one to be good. And if we are good, when they meet us, they don’t love us at all. They like to find us quite irretrievably bad, and to leave us quite unattractively good.
Lord Darlington	Rising from R. table, where he has been writing letters. They always do find us bad!
Dumby	I don’t think we are bad. I think we are all good, except Tuppy.
Lord Darlington	No, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Sits down at C. table.
Dumby	We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars? Upon my word, you are very romantic tonight, Darlington.
Cecil Graham	Too romantic! You must be in love. Who is the girl?
Lord Darlington	The woman I love is not free, or thinks she isn’t. Glances instinctively at Lord Windermere* while he speaks.*
Cecil Graham	A married woman, then! Well, there’s nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It’s a thing no married man knows anything about.
Lord Darlington	Oh! she doesn’t love me. She is a good woman. She is the only good woman I have ever met in my life.
Cecil Graham	The only good woman you have ever met in your life?
Lord Darlington	Yes!
Cecil Graham	Lighting a cigarette. Well, you are a lucky fellow! Why, I have met hundreds of good women. I never seem to meet any but good women. The world is perfectly packed with good women. To know them is a middle-class education.
Lord Darlington	This woman has purity and innocence. She has everything we men have lost.
Cecil Graham	My dear fellow, what on earth should we men do going about with purity and innocence? A carefully thought-out buttonhole is much more effective.
Dumby	She doesn’t really love you then?
Lord Darlington	No, she does not!
Dumby	I congratulate you, my dear fellow. In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst; the last is a real tragedy! But I am interested to hear she does not love you. How long could you love a woman who didn’t love you, Cecil?
Cecil Graham	A woman who didn’t love me? Oh, all my life!
Dumby	So could I. But it’s so difficult to meet one.
Lord Darlington	How can you be so conceited, Dumby?
Dumby	I didn’t say it as a matter of conceit. I said it as a matter of regret. I have been wildly, madly adored. I am sorry I have. It has been an immense nuisance. I should like to be allowed a little time to myself now and then.
Lord Augustus	Looking round. Time to educate yourself, I suppose.
Dumby	No, time to forget all I have learned. That is much more important, dear Tuppy. Lord Augustus moves uneasily in his chair.
Lord Darlington	What cynics you fellows are!
Cecil Graham	What is a cynic? Sitting on the back of the sofa.
Lord Darlington	A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Cecil Graham	And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn’t know the market price of any single thing.
Lord Darlington	You always amuse me, Cecil. You talk as if you were a man of experience.
Cecil Graham	I am. Moves up to front off fireplace.
Lord Darlington	You are far too young!
Cecil Graham	That is a great error. Experience is a question of instinct about life. I have got it. Tuppy hasn’t. Experience is the name Tuppy gives to his mistakes. That is all. Lord Augustus looks round indignantly.
Dumby	Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Cecil Graham	Standing with his back to the fireplace. One shouldn’t commit any. Sees Lady Windermere’s* fan on sofa.*
Dumby	Life would be very dull without them.
Cecil Graham	Of course you are quite faithful to this woman you are in love with, Darlington, to this good woman?
Lord Darlington	Cecil, if one really loves a woman, all other women in the world become absolutely meaningless to one. Love changes one—I am changed.
Cecil Graham	Dear me! How very interesting! Tuppy, I want to talk to you. Lord Augustus takes no notice.
Dumby	It’s no use talking to Tuppy. You might just as well talk to a brick wall.
Cecil Graham	But I like talking to a brick wall—it’s the only thing in the world that never contradicts me! Tuppy!
Lord Augustus	Well, what is it? What is it? Rising and going over to Cecil Graham.
Cecil Graham	Come over here. I want you particularly. Aside. Darlington has been moralising and talking about the purity of love, and that sort of thing, and he has got some woman in his rooms all the time.
Lord Augustus	No, really! really!
Cecil Graham	In a low voice. Yes, here is her fan. Points to the fan.
Lord Augustus	Chuckling. By Jove! By Jove!
Lord Windermere	Up by door. I am really off now, Lord Darlington. I am sorry you are leaving England so soon. Pray call on us when you come back! My wife and I will be charmed to see you!
Lord Darlington	Upstage with Lord Windermere. I am afraid I shall be away for many years. Good night!
Cecil Graham	Arthur!
Lord Windermere	What?
Cecil Graham	I want to speak to you for a moment. No, do come!
Lord Windermere	Putting on his coat. I can’t—I’m off!
Cecil Graham	It is something very particular. It will interest you enormously.
Lord Windermere	Smiling. It is some of your nonsense, Cecil.
Cecil Graham	It isn’t! It isn’t really.
Lord Augustus	Going to him. My dear fellow, you mustn’t go yet. I have a lot to talk to you about. And Cecil has something to show you.
Lord Windermere	Walking over. Well, what is it?
Cecil Graham	Darlington has got a woman here in his rooms. Here is her fan. Amusing, isn’t it? A pause.
Lord Windermere	Good God! Seizes the fan—Dumby* rises.*
Cecil Graham	What is the matter?
Lord Windermere	Lord Darlington!
Lord Darlington	Turning round. Yes!
Lord Windermere	What is my wife’s fan doing here in your rooms? Hands off, Cecil. Don’t touch me.
Lord Darlington	Your wife’s fan?
Lord Windermere	Yes, here it is!
Lord Darlington	Walking towards him. I don’t know!
Lord Windermere	You must know. I demand an explanation. Don’t hold me, you fool. To Cecil Graham.
Lord Darlington	Aside. She is here after all!
Lord Windermere	Speak, sir! Why is my wife’s fan here? Answer me! By God! I’ll search your rooms, and if my wife’s here, I’ll—Moves.
Lord Darlington	You shall not search my rooms. You have no right to do so. I forbid you!
Lord Windermere	You scoundrel! I’ll not leave your room till I have searched every corner of it! What moves behind that curtain? Rushes towards the curtain C.
Mrs. Erlynne	Enters behind R. Lord Windermere!
Lord Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne!
	Everyone starts and turns round. Lady Windermere* slips out from behind the curtain and glides from the room L.*
Mrs. Erlynne	I am afraid I took your wife’s fan in mistake for my own, when I was leaving your house tonight. I am so sorry. Takes fan from him. Lord Windermere* looks at her in contempt. Lord Darlington in mingled astonishment and anger. Lord Augustus turns away. The other men smile at each other.*

Act Drop

Act IV

Scene: Same as in Act I.

Lady Windermere	Lying on sofa. How can I tell him? I can’t tell him. It would kill me. I wonder what happened after I escaped from that horrible room. Perhaps she told them the true reason of her being there, and the real meaning of that—fatal fan of mine. Oh, if he knows—how can I look him in the face again? He would never forgive me. Touches bell. How securely one thinks one lives—out of reach of temptation, sin, folly. And then suddenly—Oh! Life is terrible. It rules us, we do not rule it.
	Enter Rosalie* R.*
Rosalie	Did your ladyship ring for me?
Lady Windermere	Yes. Have you found out at what time Lord Windermere came in last night?
Rosalie	His lordship did not come in till five o’clock.
Lady Windermere	Five o’clock? He knocked at my door this morning, didn’t he?
Rosalie	Yes, my lady—at half-past nine. I told him your ladyship was not awake yet.
Lady Windermere	Did he say anything?
Rosalie	Something about your ladyship’s fan. I didn’t quite catch what his lordship said. Has the fan been lost, my lady? I can’t find it, and Parker says it was not left in any of the rooms. He has looked in all of them and on the terrace as well.
Lady Windermere	It doesn’t matter. Tell Parker not to trouble. That will do.
	Exit Rosalie.
Lady Windermere	Rising. She is sure to tell him. I can fancy a person doing a wonderful act of self-sacrifice, doing it spontaneously, recklessly, nobly—and afterwards finding out that it costs too much. Why should she hesitate between her ruin and mine? … How strange! I would have publicly disgraced her in my own house. She accepts public disgrace in the house of another to save me. … There is a bitter irony in things, a bitter irony in the way we talk of good and bad women. … Oh, what a lesson! and what a pity that in life we only get our lessons when they are of no use to us! For even if she doesn’t tell, I must. Oh! the shame of it, the shame of it. To tell it is to live through it all again. Actions are the first tragedy in life, words are the second. Words are perhaps the worst. Words are merciless. … Oh! Starts as Lord Windermere* enters.*
Lord Windermere	Kisses her. Margaret—how pale you look!
Lady Windermere	I slept very badly.
Lord Windermere	Sitting on sofa with her. I am so sorry. I came in dreadfully late, and didn’t like to wake you. You are crying, dear.
Lady Windermere	Yes, I am crying, for I have something to tell you, Arthur.
Lord Windermere	My dear child, you are not well. You’ve been doing too much. Let us go away to the country. You’ll be all right at Selby. The season is almost over. There is no use staying on. Poor darling! We’ll go away today, if you like. Rises. We can easily catch the 3:40. I’ll send a wire to Fannen. Crosses and sits down at table to write a telegram.
Lady Windermere	Yes; let us go away today. No; I can’t go today, Arthur. There is someone I must see before I leave town—someone who has been kind to me.
Lord Windermere	Rising and leaning over sofa. Kind to you?
Lady Windermere	Far more than that. Rises and goes to him. I will tell you, Arthur, but only love me, love me as you used to love me.
Lord Windermere	Used to? You are not thinking of that wretched woman who came here last night? Coming round and sitting R. of her. You don’t still imagine—no, you couldn’t.
Lady Windermere	I don’t. I know now I was wrong and foolish.
Lord Windermere	It was very good of you to receive her last night—but you are never to see her again.
Lady Windermere	Why do you say that? A pause.
Lord Windermere	Holding her hand. Margaret, I thought Mrs. Erlynne was a woman more sinned against than sinning, as the phrase goes. I thought she wanted to be good, to get back into a place that she had lost by a moment’s folly, to lead again a decent life. I believed what she told me—I was mistaken in her. She is bad—as bad as a woman can be.
Lady Windermere	Arthur, Arthur, don’t talk so bitterly about any woman. I don’t think now that people can be divided into the good and the bad as though they were two separate races or creations. What are called good women may have terrible things in them, mad moods of recklessness, assertion, jealousy, sin. Bad women, as they are termed, may have in them sorrow, repentance, pity, sacrifice. And I don’t think Mrs. Erlynne a bad woman—I know she’s not.
Lord Windermere	My dear child, the woman’s impossible. No matter what harm she tries to do us, you must never see her again. She is inadmissible anywhere.
Lady Windermere	But I want to see her. I want her to come here.
Lord Windermere	Never!
Lady Windermere	She came here once as your guest. She must come now as mine. That is but fair.
Lord Windermere	She should never have come here.
Lady Windermere	Rising. It is too late, Arthur, to say that now. Moves away.
Lord Windermere	Rising. Margaret, if you knew where Mrs. Erlynne went last night, after she left this house, you would not sit in the same room with her. It was absolutely shameless, the whole thing.
Lady Windermere	Arthur, I can’t bear it any longer. I must tell you. Last night—
	Enter Parker* with a tray on which lie Lady Windermere’s fan and a card.*
Parker	Mrs. Erlynne has called to return your ladyship’s fan which she took away by mistake last night. Mrs. Erlynne has written a message on the card.
Lady Windermere	Oh, ask Mrs. Erlynne to be kind enough to come up. Reads card. Say I shall be very glad to see her.
	Exit Parker.
	She wants to see me, Arthur.
Lord Windermere	Takes card and looks at it. Margaret, I beg you not to. Let me see her first, at any rate. She’s a very dangerous woman. She is the most dangerous woman I know. You don’t realise what you’re doing.
Lady Windermere	It is right that I should see her.
Lord Windermere	My child, you may be on the brink of a great sorrow. Don’t go to meet it. It is absolutely necessary that I should see her before you do.
Lady Windermere	Why should it be necessary?
	Enter Parker.
Parker	Mrs. Erlynne.
	Enter Mrs. Erlynne.
	Exit Parker.
Mrs. Erlynne	How do you do, Lady Windermere? To Lord Windermere. How do you do? Do you know, Lady Windermere, I am so sorry about your fan. I can’t imagine how I made such a silly mistake. Most stupid of me. And as I was driving in your direction, I thought I would take the opportunity of returning your property in person with many apologies for my carelessness, and of bidding you goodbye.
Lady Windermere	Goodbye? Moves towards sofa with Mrs. Erlynne* and sits down beside her.* Are you going away, then, Mrs. Erlynne?
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes; I am going to live abroad again. The English climate doesn’t suit me. My—heart is affected here, and that I don’t like. I prefer living in the south. London is too full of fogs and—and serious people, Lord Windermere. Whether the fogs produce the serious people or whether the serious people produce the fogs, I don’t know, but the whole thing rather gets on my nerves, and so I’m leaving this afternoon by the Club Train.
Lady Windermere	This afternoon? But I wanted so much to come and see you.
Mrs. Erlynne	How kind of you! But I am afraid I have to go.
Lady Windermere	Shall I never see you again, Mrs. Erlynne?
Mrs. Erlynne	I am afraid not. Our lives lie too far apart. But there is a little thing I would like you to do for me. I want a photograph of you, Lady Windermere—would you give me one? You don’t know how gratified I should be.
Lady Windermere	Oh, with pleasure. There is one on that table. I’ll show it to you. Goes across to the table.
Lord Windermere	Coming up to Mrs. Erlynne* and speaking in a low voice.* It is monstrous your intruding yourself here after your conduct last night.
Mrs. Erlynne	With an amused smile. My dear Windermere, manners before morals!
Lady Windermere	Returning. I’m afraid it is very flattering—I am not so pretty as that. Showing photograph.
Mrs. Erlynne	You are much prettier. But haven’t you got one of yourself with your little boy?
Lady Windermere	I have. Would you prefer one of those?
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes.
Lady Windermere	I’ll go and get it for you, if you’ll excuse me for a moment. I have one upstairs.
Mrs. Erlynne	So sorry, Lady Windermere, to give you so much trouble.
Lady Windermere	Moves to door R. No trouble at all, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	Thanks so much.
	Exit Lady Windermere* R.* You seem rather out of temper this morning, Windermere. Why should you be? Margaret and I get on charmingly together.
Lord Windermere	I can’t bear to see you with her. Besides, you have not told me the truth, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	I have not told her the truth, you mean.
Lord Windermere	Standing C. I sometimes wish you had. I should have been spared then the misery, the anxiety, the annoyance of the last six months. But rather than my wife should know—that the mother whom she was taught to consider as dead, the mother whom she has mourned as dead, is living—a divorced woman, going about under an assumed name, a bad woman preying upon life, as I know you now to be—rather than that, I was ready to supply you with money to pay bill after bill, extravagance after extravagance, to risk what occurred yesterday, the first quarrel I have ever had with my wife. You don’t understand what that means to me. How could you? But I tell you that the only bitter words that ever came from those sweet lips of hers were on your account, and I hate to see you next her. You sully the innocence that is in her. Moves L.C. And then I used to think that with all your faults you were frank and honest. You are not.
Mrs. Erlynne	Why do you say that?
Lord Windermere	You made me get you an invitation to my wife’s ball.
Mrs. Erlynne	For my daughter’s ball—yes.
Lord Windermere	You came, and within an hour of your leaving the house you are found in a man’s rooms—you are disgraced before everyone. Goes up stage C.
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes.
Lord Windermere	Turning round on her. Therefore I have a right to look upon you as what you are—a worthless, vicious woman. I have the right to tell you never to enter this house, never to attempt to come near my wife—
Mrs. Erlynne	Coldly. My daughter, you mean.
Lord Windermere	You have no right to claim her as your daughter. You left her, abandoned her when she was but a child in the cradle, abandoned her for your lover, who abandoned you in turn.
Mrs. Erlynne	Rising. Do you count that to his credit, Lord Windermere—or to mine?
Lord Windermere	To his, now that I know you.
Mrs. Erlynne	Take care—you had better be careful.
Lord Windermere	Oh, I am not going to mince words for you. I know you thoroughly.
Mrs. Erlynne	Looks steadily at him. I question that.
Lord Windermere	I do know you. For twenty years of your life you lived without your child, without a thought of your child. One day you read in the papers that she had married a rich man. You saw your hideous chance. You knew that to spare her the ignominy of learning that a woman like you was her mother, I would endure anything. You began your blackmailing.
Mrs. Erlynne	Shrugging her shoulders. Don’t use ugly words, Windermere. They are vulgar. I saw my chance, it is true, and took it.
Lord Windermere	Yes, you took it—and spoiled it all last night by being found out.
Mrs. Erlynne	With a strange smile. You are quite right, I spoiled it all last night.
Lord Windermere	And as for your blunder in taking my wife’s fan from here and then leaving it about in Darlington’s rooms, it is unpardonable. I can’t bear the sight of it now. I shall never let my wife use it again. The thing is soiled for me. You should have kept it and not brought it back.
Mrs. Erlynne	I think I shall keep it. Goes up. It’s extremely pretty. Takes up fan. I shall ask Margaret to give it to me.
Lord Windermere	I hope my wife will give it you.
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh, I’m sure she will have no objection.
Lord Windermere	I wish that at the same time she would give you a miniature she kisses every night before she prays—It’s the miniature of a young innocent-looking girl with beautiful dark hair.
Mrs. Erlynne	Ah, yes, I remember. How long ago that seems! Goes to sofa and sits down. It was done before I was married. Dark hair and an innocent expression were the fashion then, Windermere! A pause.
Lord Windermere	What do you mean by coming here this morning? What is your object? Crossing L.C. and sitting.
Mrs. Erlynne	With a note of irony in her voice. To bid goodbye to my dear daughter, of course. Lord Windermere bites his under lip in anger. Mrs. Erlynne looks at him, and her voice and manner become serious. In her accents as she talks there is a note of deep tragedy. For a moment she reveals herself. Oh, don’t imagine I am going to have a pathetic scene with her, weep on her neck and tell her who I am, and all that kind of thing. I have no ambition to play the part of a mother. Only once in my life have I known a mother’s feelings. That was last night. They were terrible—they made me suffer—they made me suffer too much. For twenty years, as you say, I have lived childless—I want to live childless still. Hiding her feelings with a trivial laugh. Besides, my dear Windermere, how on earth could I pose as a mother with a grown-up daughter? Margaret is twenty-one, and I have never admitted that I am more than twenty-nine, or thirty at the most. Twenty-nine when there are pink shades, thirty when there are not. So you see what difficulties it would involve. No, as far as I am concerned, let your wife cherish the memory of this dead, stainless mother. Why should I interfere with her illusions? I find it hard enough to keep my own. I lost one illusion last night. I thought I had no heart. I find I have, and a heart doesn’t suit me, Windermere. Somehow it doesn’t go with modern dress. It makes one look old. Takes up hand-mirror from table and looks into it. And it spoils one’s career at critical moments.
Lord Windermere	You fill me with horror—with absolute horror.
Mrs. Erlynne	Rising. I suppose, Windermere, you would like me to retire into a convent, or become a hospital nurse, or something of that kind, as people do in silly modern novels. That is stupid of you, Arthur; in real life we don’t do such things—not as long as we have any good looks left, at any rate. No—what consoles one nowadays is not repentance, but pleasure. Repentance is quite out of date. And besides, if a woman really repents, she has to go to a bad dressmaker, otherwise no one believes in her. And nothing in the world would induce me to do that. No; I am going to pass entirely out of your two lives. My coming into them has been a mistake—I discovered that last night.
Lord Windermere	A fatal mistake.
Mrs. Erlynne	Smiling. Almost fatal.
Lord Windermere	I am sorry now I did not tell my wife the whole thing at once.
Mrs. Erlynne	I regret my bad actions. You regret your good ones—that is the difference between us.
Lord Windermere	I don’t trust you. I will tell my wife. It’s better for her to know, and from me. It will cause her infinite pain—it will humiliate her terribly, but it’s right that she should know.
Mrs. Erlynne	You propose to tell her?
Lord Windermere	I am going to tell her.
Mrs. Erlynne	Going up to him. If you do, I will make my name so infamous that it will mar every moment of her life. It will ruin her, and make her wretched. If you dare to tell her, there is no depth of degradation I will not sink to, no pit of shame I will not enter. You shall not tell her—I forbid you.
Lord Windermere	Why?
Mrs. Erlynne	After a pause. If I said to you that I cared for her, perhaps loved her even—you would sneer at me, wouldn’t you?
Lord Windermere	I should feel it was not true. A mother’s love means devotion, unselfishness, sacrifice. What could you know of such things?
Mrs. Erlynne	You are right. What could I know of such things? Don’t let us talk any more about it—as for telling my daughter who I am, that I do not allow. It is my secret, it is not yours. If I make up my mind to tell her, and I think I will, I shall tell her before I leave the house—if not, I shall never tell her.
Lord Windermere	Angrily. Then let me beg of you to leave our house at once. I will make your excuses to Margaret.
	Enter Lady Windermere R. She goes over to Mrs. Erlynne with the photograph in her hand. Lord Windermere moves to back of sofa, and anxiously watches Mrs. Erlynne as the scene progresses.
Lady Windermere	I am so sorry, Mrs. Erlynne, to have kept you waiting. I couldn’t find the photograph anywhere. At last I discovered it in my husband’s dressing-room—he had stolen it.
Mrs. Erlynne	Takes the photograph from her and looks at it. I am not surprised—it is charming. Goes over to sofa with Lady Windermere, and sits down beside her. Looks again at the photograph. And so that is your little boy! What is he called?
Lady Windermere	Gerard, after my dear father.
Mrs. Erlynne	Laying the photograph down. Really?
Lady Windermere	Yes. If it had been a girl, I would have called it after my mother. My mother had the same name as myself, Margaret.
Mrs. Erlynne	My name is Margaret too.
Lady Windermere	Indeed!
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes. Pause. You are devoted to your mother’s memory, Lady Windermere, your husband tells me.
Lady Windermere	We all have ideals in life. At least we all should have. Mine is my mother.
Mrs. Erlynne	Ideals are dangerous things. Realities are better. They wound, but they’re better.
Lady Windermere	Shaking her head. If I lost my ideals, I should lose everything.
Mrs. Erlynne	Everything?
Lady Windermere	Yes. Pause.
Mrs. Erlynne	Did your father often speak to you of your mother?
Lady Windermere	No, it gave him too much pain. He told me how my mother had died a few months after I was born. His eyes filled with tears as he spoke. Then he begged me never to mention her name to him again. It made him suffer even to hear it. My father—my father really died of a broken heart. His was the most ruined life I know.
Mrs. Erlynne	Rising. I am afraid I must go now, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Rising. Oh no, don’t.
Mrs. Erlynne	I think I had better. My carriage must have come back by this time. I sent it to Lady Jedburgh’s with a note.
Lady Windermere	Arthur, would you mind seeing if Mrs. Erlynne’s carriage has come back?
Mrs. Erlynne	Pray don’t trouble, Lord Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Yes, Arthur, do go, please.
	Lord Windermere hesitated for a moment and looks at Mrs. Erlynne. She remains quite impassive. He leaves the room.
	To Mrs. Erlynne. Oh! What am I to say to you? You saved me last night? Goes towards her.
Mrs. Erlynne	Hush—don’t speak of it.
Lady Windermere	I must speak of it. I can’t let you think that I am going to accept this sacrifice. I am not. It is too great. I am going to tell my husband everything. It is my duty.
Mrs. Erlynne	It is not your duty—at least you have duties to others besides him. You say you owe me something?
Lady Windermere	I owe you everything.
Mrs. Erlynne	Then pay your debt by silence. That is the only way in which it can be paid. Don’t spoil the one good thing I have done in my life by telling it to anyone. Promise me that what passed last night will remain a secret between us. You must not bring misery into your husband’s life. Why spoil his love? You must not spoil it. Love is easily killed. Oh! how easily love is killed. Pledge me your word, Lady Windermere, that you will never tell him. I insist upon it.
Lady Windermere	With bowed head. It is your will, not mine.
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes, it is my will. And never forget your child—I like to think of you as a mother. I like you to think of yourself as one.
Lady Windermere	Looking up. I always will now. Only once in my life I have forgotten my own mother—that was last night. Oh, if I had remembered her I should not have been so foolish, so wicked.
Mrs. Erlynne	With a slight shudder. Hush, last night is quite over.
	Enter Lord Windermere.
Lord Windermere	Your carriage has not come back yet, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	It makes no matter. I’ll take a hansom. There is nothing in the world so respectable as a good Shrewsbury and Talbot. And now, dear Lady Windermere, I am afraid it is really goodbye. Moves up C. Oh, I remember. You’ll think me absurd, but do you know I’ve taken a great fancy to this fan that I was silly enough to run away with last night from your ball. Now, I wonder would you give it to me? Lord Windermere says you may. I know it is his present.
Lady Windermere	Oh, certainly, if it will give you any pleasure. But it has my name on it. It has “Margaret” on it.
Mrs. Erlynne	But we have the same Christian name.
Lady Windermere	Oh, I forgot. Of course, do have it. What a wonderful chance our names being the same!
Mrs. Erlynne	Quite wonderful. Thanks—it will always remind me of you. Shakes hands with her.
	Enter Parker.
Parker	Lord Augustus Lorton. Mrs. Erlynne’s carriage has come.
	Enter Lord Augustus.
Lord Augustus	Good morning, dear boy. Good morning, Lady Windermere. Sees Mrs. Erlynne. Mrs. Erlynne!
Mrs. Erlynne	How do you do, Lord Augustus? Are you quite well this morning?
Lord Augustus	Coldly. Quite well, thank you, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	You don’t look at all well, Lord Augustus. You stop up too late—it is so bad for you. You really should take more care of yourself. Goodbye, Lord Windermere. Goes towards door with a bow to Lord Augustus. Suddenly smiles and looks back at him. Lord Augustus! Won’t you see me to my carriage? You might carry the fan.
Lord Windermere	Allow me!
Mrs. Erlynne	No; I want Lord Augustus. I have a special message for the dear Duchess. Won’t you carry the fan, Lord Augustus?
Lord Augustus	If you really desire it, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	Laughing. Of course I do. You’ll carry it so gracefully. You would carry off anything gracefully, dear Lord Augustus.
	When she reaches the door she looks back for a moment at Lady Windermere. Their eyes meet. Then she turns, and exit C. followed by Lord Augustus.
Lady Windermere	You will never speak against Mrs. Erlynne again, Arthur, will you?
Lord Windermere	Gravely. She is better than one thought her.
Lady Windermere	She is better than I am.
Lord Windermere	Smiling as he strokes her hair. Child, you and she belong to different worlds. Into your world evil has never entered.
Lady Windermere	Don’t say that, Arthur. There is the same world for all of us, and good and evil, sin and innocence, go through it hand in hand. To shut one’s eyes to half of life that one may live securely is as though one blinded oneself that one might walk with more safety in a land of pit and precipice.
Lord Windermere	Moves down with her. Darling, why do you say that?
Lady Windermere	Sits on sofa. Because I, who had shut my eyes to life, came to the brink. And one who had separated us—
Lord Windermere	We were never separated.
Lady Windermere	We never must be again. O Arthur, don’t love me less, and I will trust you more. I will trust you absolutely. Let us go to Selby. In the Rose Garden at Selby the roses are white and red.
	Enter Lord Augustus* C.*
Lord Augustus	Arthur, she has explained everything!
	Lady Windermere looks horribly frightened at this. Lord Windermere starts. Lord Augustus takes Windermere by the arm and brings him to front of stage. He talks rapidly and in a low voice. Lady Windermere stands watching them in terror. My dear fellow, she has explained every demmed thing. We all wronged her immensely. It was entirely for my sake she went to Darlington’s rooms. Called first at the Club—fact is, wanted to put me out of suspense—and being told I had gone on—followed—naturally frightened when she heard a lot of us coming in—retired to another room—I assure you, most gratifying to me, the whole thing. We all behaved brutally to her. She is just the woman for me. Suits me down to the ground. All the conditions she makes are that we live entirely out of England. A very good thing too. Demmed clubs, demmed climate, demmed cooks, demmed everything. Sick of it all!
Lady Windermere	Frightened. Has Mrs. Erlynne—?
Lord Augustus	Advancing towards her with a low bow. Yes, Lady Windermere—Mrs. Erlynne has done me the honour of accepting my hand.
Lord Windermere	Well, you are certainly marrying a very clever woman!
Lady Windermere	Taking her husband’s hand. Ah, you’re marrying a very good woman!

Curtain

tale.fyi

Lady Windermere’s Fan

Oscar Wilde

scroll plz ↓

To
The Dear Memory
Of
Robert Earl Of Lytton
In Affection
And
Admiration

Dramatis Personae

Lord Windermere
Lord Darlington
Lord Augustus Lorton
Mr. Dumby
Mr. Cecil Graham
Mr. Hopper
Parker, Butler
Lady Windermere
The Duchess of Berwick
Lady Agatha Carlisle
Lady Plymdale
Lady Stutfield
Lady Jedburgh
Mrs. Cowper-Cowper
Mrs. Erlynne
Rosalie, Maid

The Scenes of the Play

Act I: Morning-room in Lord Windermere’s house.

Act II: Drawing-room in Lord Windermere’s house.

Act III: Lord Darlington’s rooms.

Act IV: Same as Act I.

Time: The present.

Place: London.

The action of the play takes place within twenty-four hours, beginning on a Tuesday afternoon at five o’clock, and ending the next day at 1:30 p.m.

Act I

Scene: Morning-room of Lord Windermere’s house in Carlton House Terrace. Doors C. and R. Bureau with books and papers R. Sofa with small tea-table L. Window opening on to terrace L. Table R.

	Lady Windermere is at table R., arranging roses in a blue bowl.
	Enter Parker.
Parker	Is your ladyship at home this afternoon?
Lady Windermere	Yes—who has called?
Parker	Lord Darlington, my lady.
Lady Windermere	Hesitates for a moment. Show him up—and I’m at home to anyone who calls.
Parker	Yes, my lady.
	Exit C.
Lady Windermere	It’s best for me to see him before tonight. I’m glad he’s come.
	Enter Parker* C.*
Parker	Lord Darlington,
	Enter Lord Darlington* C.*
	Exit Parker.
Lord Darlington	How do you do, Lady Windermere?
Lady Windermere	How do you do, Lord Darlington? No, I can’t shake hands with you. My hands are all wet with these roses. Aren’t they lovely? They came up from Selby this morning.
Lord Darlington	They are quite perfect. Sees a fan lying on the table. And what a wonderful fan! May I look at it?
Lady Windermere	Do. Pretty, isn’t it! It’s got my name on it, and everything. I have only just seen it myself. It’s my husband’s birthday present to me. You know today is my birthday?
Lord Darlington	No? Is it really?
Lady Windermere	Yes, I’m of age today. Quite an important day in my life, isn’t it? That is why I am giving this party tonight. Do sit down. Still arranging flowers.
Lord Darlington	Sitting down. I wish I had known it was your birthday, Lady Windermere. I would have covered the whole street in front of your house with flowers for you to walk on. They are made for you.
	A short pause.
Lady Windermere	Lord Darlington, you annoyed me last night at the Foreign Office. I am afraid you are going to annoy me again.
Lord Darlington	I, Lady Windermere?
	Enter Parker* and Footman C., with tray and tea things.*
Lady Windermere	Put it there, Parker. That will do. Wipes her hands with her pocket-handkerchief, goes to tea-table, and sits down. Won’t you come over, Lord Darlington?
	Exit Parker* C.*
Lord Darlington	Takes chair and goes across L.C. I am quite miserable, Lady Windermere. You must tell me what I did. Sits down at table L.
Lady Windermere	Well, you kept paying me elaborate compliments the whole evening.
Lord Darlington	Smiling. Ah, nowadays we are all of us so hard up, that the only pleasant things to pay are compliments. They’re the only things we can pay.
Lady Windermere	Shaking her head. No, I am talking very seriously. You mustn’t laugh, I am quite serious. I don’t like compliments, and I don’t see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn’t mean.
Lord Darlington	Ah, but I did mean them. Takes tea which she offers him.
Lady Windermere	Gravely. I hope not. I should be sorry to have to quarrel with you, Lord Darlington. I like you very much, you know that. But I shouldn’t like you at all if I thought you were what most other men are. Believe me, you are better than most other men, and I sometimes think you pretend to be worse.
Lord Darlington	We all have our little vanities, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Why do you make that your special one? Still seated at table L.
Lord Darlington	Still seated L.C. Oh, nowadays so many conceited people go about Society pretending to be good, that I think it shows rather a sweet and modest disposition to pretend to be bad. Besides, there is this to be said. If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
Lady Windermere	Don’t you want the world to take you seriously then, Lord Darlington?
Lord Darlington	No, not the world. Who are the people the world takes seriously? All the dull people one can think of, from the Bishops down to the bores. I should like you to take me very seriously, Lady Windermere, you more than anyone else in life.
Lady Windermere	Why—why me?
Lord Darlington	After a slight hesitation. Because I think we might be great friends. Let us be great friends. You may want a friend some day.
Lady Windermere	Why do you say that?
Lord Darlington	Oh!—we all want friends at times.
Lady Windermere	I think we’re very good friends already, Lord Darlington. We can always remain so as long as you don’t—
Lord Darlington	Don’t what?
Lady Windermere	Don’t spoil it by saying extravagant silly things to me. You think I am a Puritan, I suppose? Well, I have something of the Puritan in me. I was brought up like that. I am glad of it. My mother died when I was a mere child. I lived always with Lady Julia, my father’s elder sister, you know. She was stern to me, but she taught me what the world is forgetting, the difference that there is between what is right and what is wrong. She allowed of no compromise. I allow of none.
Lord Darlington	My dear Lady Windermere!
Lady Windermere	Leaning back on the sofa. You look on me as being behind the age.—Well, I am! I should be sorry to be on the same level as an age like this.
Lord Darlington	You think the age very bad?
Lady Windermere	Yes. Nowadays people seem to look on life as a speculation. It is not a speculation. It is a sacrament. Its ideal is Love. Its purification is sacrifice.
Lord Darlington	Smiling. Oh, anything is better than being sacrificed!
Lady Windermere	Leaning forward. Don’t say that.
Lord Darlington	I do say it. I feel it—I know it.
	Enter Parker* C.*
Parker	The men want to know if they are to put the carpets on the terrace for tonight, my lady?
Lady Windermere	You don’t think it will rain, Lord Darlington, do you?
Lord Darlington	I won’t hear of its raining on your birthday!
Lady Windermere	Tell them to do it at once, Parker.
	Exit Parker* C.*
Lord Darlington	Still seated. Do you think then—of course I am only putting an imaginary instance—do you think that in the case of a young married couple, say about two years married, if the husband suddenly becomes the intimate friend of a woman of—well, more than doubtful character—is always calling upon her, lunching with her, and probably paying her bills—do you think that the wife should not console herself?
Lady Windermere	Frowning. Console herself?
Lord Darlington	Yes, I think she should—I think she has the right.
Lady Windermere	Because the husband is vile—should the wife be vile also?
Lord Darlington	Vileness is a terrible word, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	It is a terrible thing, Lord Darlington.
Lord Darlington	Do you know I am afraid that good people do a great deal of harm in this world. Certainly the greatest harm they do is that they make badness of such extraordinary importance. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. I take the side of the charming, and you, Lady Windermere, can’t help belonging to them.
Lady Windermere	Now, Lord Darlington. Rising and crossing R., front of him. Don’t stir, I am merely going to finish my flowers. Goes to table R.C.
Lord Darlington	Rising and moving chair. And I must say I think you are very hard on modern life, Lady Windermere. Of course there is much against it, I admit. Most women, for instance, nowadays, are rather mercenary.
Lady Windermere	Don’t talk about such people.
Lord Darlington	Well then, setting aside mercenary people, who, of course, are dreadful, do you think seriously that women who have committed what the world calls a fault should never be forgiven?
Lady Windermere	Standing at table. I think they should never be forgiven.
Lord Darlington	And men? Do you think that there should be the same laws for men as there are for women?
Lady Windermere	Certainly!
Lord Darlington	I think life too complex a thing to be settled by these hard and fast rules.
Lady Windermere	If we had “these hard and fast rules,” we should find life much more simple.
Lord Darlington	You allow of no exceptions?
Lady Windermere	None!
Lord Darlington	Ah, what a fascinating Puritan you are, Lady Windermere!
Lady Windermere	The adjective was unnecessary, Lord Darlington.
Lord Darlington	I couldn’t help it. I can resist everything except temptation.
Lady Windermere	You have the modern affectation of weakness.
Lord Darlington	Looking at her. It’s only an affectation, Lady Windermere.
	Enter Parker* C.*
Parker	The Duchess of Berwick and Lady Agatha Carlisle.
	Enter the The Duchess of Berwick* and Lady Agatha Carlisle C.*
	Exit Parker* C.*
The Duchess of Berwick	Coming down C., and shaking hands. Dear Margaret, I am so pleased to see you. You remember Agatha, don’t you? Crossing L.C. How do you do, Lord Darlington? I won’t let you know my daughter, you are far too wicked.
Lord Darlington	Don’t say that, Duchess. As a wicked man I am a complete failure. Why, there are lots of people who say I have never really done anything wrong in the whole course of my life. Of course they only say it behind my back.
The Duchess of Berwick	Isn’t he dreadful? Agatha, this is Lord Darlington. Mind you don’t believe a word he says. Lord Darlington crosses R.C. No, no tea, thank you, dear. Crosses and sits on sofa. We have just had tea at Lady Markby’s. Such bad tea, too. It was quite undrinkable. I wasn’t at all surprised. Her own son-in-law supplies it. Agatha is looking forward so much to your ball tonight, dear Margaret.
Lady Windermere	Seated L.C. Oh, you mustn’t think it is going to be a ball, Duchess. It is only a dance in honour of my birthday. A small and early.
Lord Darlington	Standing L.C. Very small, very early, and very select, Duchess.
The Duchess of Berwick	On sofa L. Of course it’s going to be select. But we know that, dear Margaret, about your house. It is really one of the few houses in London where I can take Agatha, and where I feel perfectly secure about dear Berwick. I don’t know what society is coming to. The most dreadful people seem to go everywhere. They certainly come to my parties—the men get quite furious if one doesn’t ask them. Really, someone should make a stand against it.
Lady Windermere	I will, Duchess. I will have no one in my house about whom there is any scandal.
Lord Darlington	R.C. Oh, don’t say that, Lady Windermere. I should never be admitted! Sitting.
The Duchess of Berwick	Oh, men don’t matter. With women it is different. We’re good. Some of us are, at least. But we are positively getting elbowed into the corner. Our husbands would really forget our existence if we didn’t nag at them from time to time, just to remind them that we have a perfect legal right to do so.
Lord Darlington	It’s a curious thing, Duchess, about the game of marriage—a game, by the way, that is going out of fashion—the wives hold all the honours, and invariably lose the odd trick.
The Duchess of Berwick	The odd trick? Is that the husband, Lord Darlington?
Lord Darlington	It would be rather a good name for the modern husband.
The Duchess of Berwick	Dear Lord Darlington, how thoroughly depraved you are!
Lady Windermere	Lord Darlington is trivial.
Lord Darlington	Ah, don’t say that, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Why do you talk so trivially about life, then?
Lord Darlington	Because I think that life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it. Moves up C.
The Duchess of Berwick	What does he mean? Do, as a concession to my poor wits, Lord Darlington, just explain to me what you really mean.
Lord Darlington	Coming down back of table. I think I had better not, Duchess. Nowadays to be intelligible is to be found out. Goodbye! Shakes hands with Duchess. And now—goes up stage Lady Windermere, goodbye. I may come tonight, mayn’t I? Do let me come.
Lady Windermere	Standing up stage with Lord Darlington. Yes, certainly. But you are not to say foolish, insincere things to people.
Lord Darlington	Smiling. Ah! you are beginning to reform me. It is a dangerous thing to reform anyone, Lady Windermere. Bows, and exit C.
The Duchess of Berwick	Who has risen, goes C. What a charming, wicked creature! I like him so much. I’m quite delighted he’s gone! How sweet you’re looking! Where do you get your gowns? And now I must tell you how sorry I am for you, dear Margaret. Crosses to sofa and sits with Lady Windermere. Agatha, darling!
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma. Rises.
The Duchess of Berwick	Will you go and look over the photograph album that I see there?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma. Goes to table up L.
The Duchess of Berwick	Dear girl! She is so fond of photographs of Switzerland. Such a pure taste, I think. But I really am so sorry for you, Margaret.
Lady Windermere	Smiling. Why, Duchess?
The Duchess of Berwick	Oh, on account of that horrid woman. She dresses so well, too, which makes it much worse, sets such a dreadful example. Augustus—you know my disreputable brother—such a trial to us all—well, Augustus is completely infatuated about her. It is quite scandalous, for she is absolutely inadmissible into society. Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit.
Lady Windermere	Whom are you talking about, Duchess?
The Duchess of Berwick	About Mrs. Erlynne.
Lady Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne? I never heard of her, Duchess. And what has she to do with me?
The Duchess of Berwick	My poor child! Agatha, darling!
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Will you go out on the terrace and look at the sunset?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
	Exit through window, L.
The Duchess of Berwick	Sweet girl! So devoted to sunsets! Shows such refinement of feeling, does it not? After all, there is nothing like Nature, is there?
Lady Windermere	But what is it, Duchess? Why do you talk to me about this person?
The Duchess of Berwick	Don’t you really know? I assure you we’re all so distressed about it. Only last night at dear Lady Jansen’s everyone was saying how extraordinary it was that, of all men in London, Windermere should behave in such a way.
Lady Windermere	My husband—what has he got to do with any woman of that kind?
The Duchess of Berwick	Ah, what indeed, dear? That is the point. He goes to see her continually, and stops for hours at a time, and while he is there she is not at home to anyone. Not that many ladies call on her, dear, but she has a great many disreputable men friends—my own brother particularly, as I told you—and that is what makes it so dreadful about Windermere. We looked upon him as being such a model husband, but I am afraid there is no doubt about it. My dear nieces—you know the Saville girls, don’t you?—such nice domestic creatures—plain, dreadfully plain, but so good—well, they’re always at the window doing fancy work, and making ugly things for the poor, which I think so useful of them in these dreadful socialistic days, and this terrible woman has taken a house in Curzon Street, right opposite them—such a respectable street, too! I don’t know what we’re coming to! And they tell me that Windermere goes there four and five times a week—they see him. They can’t help it—and although they never talk scandal, they—well, of course—they remark on it to everyone. And the worst of it all is that I have been told that this woman has got a great deal of money out of somebody, for it seems that she came to London six months ago without anything at all to speak of, and now she has this charming house in Mayfair, drives her ponies in the Park every afternoon and all—well, all—since she has known poor dear Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Oh, I can’t believe it!
The Duchess of Berwick	But it’s quite true, my dear. The whole of London knows it. That is why I felt it was better to come and talk to you, and advise you to take Windermere away at once to Homburg or to Aix, where he’ll have something to amuse him, and where you can watch him all day long. I assure you, my dear, that on several occasions after I was first married, I had to pretend to be very ill, and was obliged to drink the most unpleasant mineral waters, merely to get Berwick out of town. He was so extremely susceptible. Though I am bound to say he never gave away any large sums of money to anybody. He is far too high-principled for that!
Lady Windermere	Interrupting. Duchess, Duchess, it’s impossible! Rising and crossing stage to C. We are only married two years. Our child is but six months old. Sits in chair R. of L. table.
The Duchess of Berwick	Ah, the dear pretty baby! How is the little darling? Is it a boy or a girl? I hope a girl—Ah, no, I remember it’s a boy! I’m so sorry. Boys are so wicked. My boy is excessively immoral. You wouldn’t believe at what hours he comes home. And he’s only left Oxford a few months—I really don’t know what they teach them there.
Lady Windermere	Are all men bad?
The Duchess of Berwick	Oh, all of them, my dear, all of them, without any exception. And they never grow any better. Men become old, but they never become good.
Lady Windermere	Windermere and I married for love.
The Duchess of Berwick	Yes, we begin like that. It was only Berwick’s brutal and incessant threats of suicide that made me accept him at all, and before the year was out, he was running after all kinds of petticoats, every colour, every shape, every material. In fact, before the honeymoon was over, I caught him winking at my maid, a most pretty, respectable girl. I dismissed her at once without a character.—No, I remember I passed her on to my sister; poor dear Sir George is so shortsighted, I thought it wouldn’t matter. But it did, though—it was most unfortunate. Rises. And now, my dear child, I must go, as we are dining out. And mind you don’t take this little aberration of Windermere’s too much to heart. Just take him abroad, and he’ll come back to you all right.
Lady Windermere	Come back to me? C.
The Duchess of Berwick	L.C. Yes, dear, these wicked women get our husbands away from us, but they always come back, slightly damaged, of course. And don’t make scenes, men hate them!
Lady Windermere	It is very kind of you, Duchess, to come and tell me all this. But I can’t believe that my husband is untrue to me.
The Duchess of Berwick	Pretty child! I was like that once. Now I know that all men are monsters. Lady Windermere rings bell. The only thing to do is to feed the wretches well. A good cook does wonders, and that I know you have. My dear Margaret, you are not going to cry?
Lady Windermere	You needn’t be afraid, Duchess, I never cry.
The Duchess of Berwick	That’s quite right, dear. Crying is the refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones. Agatha, darling!
Lady Agatha	Entering L. Yes, mamma. Stands back of table L.C.
The Duchess of Berwick	Come and bid goodbye to Lady Windermere, and thank her for your charming visit. Coming down again. And by the way, I must thank you for sending a card to Mr. Hopper—he’s that rich young Australian people are taking such notice of just at present. His father made a great fortune by selling some kind of food in circular tins—most palatable, I believe—I fancy it is the thing the servants always refuse to eat. But the son is quite interesting. I think he’s attracted by dear Agatha’s clever talk. Of course, we should be very sorry to lose her, but I think that a mother who doesn’t part with a daughter every season has no real affection. We’re coming tonight, dear. Parker opens C. doors. And remember my advice, take the poor fellow out of town at once, it is the only thing to do. Goodbye, once more; come, Agatha.
	Exeunt Duchess* and Lady Agatha C.*
Lady Windermere	How horrible! I understand now what Lord Darlington meant by the imaginary instance of the couple not two years married. Oh! it can’t be true—she spoke of enormous sums of money paid to this woman. I know where Arthur keeps his bank book—in one of the drawers of that desk. I might find out by that. I will find out. Opens drawer. No, it is some hideous mistake. Rises and goes C. Some silly scandal! He loves me! He loves me! But why should I not look? I am his wife, I have a right to look! Returns to bureau, takes out book and examines it page by page, smiles and gives a sigh of relief. I knew it! there is not a word of truth in this stupid story. Puts book back in drawer. As she does so, starts and takes out another book. A second book—private—locked! Tries to open it, but fails. Sees paper knife on bureau, and with it cuts cover from book. Begins to start at the first page. “Mrs. Erlynne—£600—Mrs. Erlynne—£700—Mrs. Erlynne—£400.” Oh! it is true! It is true! How horrible! Throws book on floor.
	Enter Lord Windermere* C.*
Lord Windermere	Well, dear, has the fan been sent home yet? Going R.C. Sees book. Margaret, you have cut open my bank book. You have no right to do such a thing!
Lady Windermere	You think it wrong that you are found out, don’t you?
Lord Windermere	I think it wrong that a wife should spy on her husband.
Lady Windermere	I did not spy on you. I never knew of this woman’s existence till half an hour ago. Someone who pitied me was kind enough to tell me what everyone in London knows already—your daily visits to Curzon Street, your mad infatuation, the monstrous sums of money you squander on this infamous woman! Crossing L.
Lord Windermere	Margaret! don’t talk like that of Mrs. Erlynne, you don’t know how unjust it is!
Lady Windermere	Turning to him. You are very jealous of Mrs. Erlynne’s honour. I wish you had been as jealous of mine.
Lord Windermere	Your honour is untouched, Margaret. You don’t think for a moment that—Puts book back into desk.
Lady Windermere	I think that you spend your money strangely. That is all. Oh, don’t imagine I mind about the money. As far as I am concerned, you may squander everything we have. But what I do mind is that you who have loved me, you who have taught me to love you, should pass from the love that is given to the love that is bought. Oh, it’s horrible! Sits on sofa. And it is I who feel degraded! you don’t feel anything. I feel stained, utterly stained. You can’t realise how hideous the last six months seems to me now—every kiss you have given me is tainted in my memory.
Lord Windermere	Crossing to her. Don’t say that, Margaret. I never loved anyone in the whole world but you.
Lady Windermere	Rises. Who is this woman, then? Why do you take a house for her?
Lord Windermere	I did not take a house for her.
Lady Windermere	You gave her the money to do it, which is the same thing.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, as far as I have known Mrs. Erlynne—
Lady Windermere	Is there a Mr. Erlynne—or is he a myth?
Lord Windermere	Her husband died many years ago. She is alone in the world.
Lady Windermere	No relations? A pause.
Lord Windermere	None.
Lady Windermere	Rather curious, isn’t it? L.
Lord Windermere	L.C. Margaret, I was saying to you—and I beg you to listen to me—that as far as I have known Mrs. Erlynne, she has conducted herself well. If years ago—
Lady Windermere	Oh! Crossing R.C. I don’t want details about her life!
Lord Windermere	C. I am not going to give you any details about her life. I tell you simply this—Mrs. Erlynne was once honoured, loved, respected. She was well born, she had position—she lost everything—threw it away, if you like. That makes it all the more bitter. Misfortunes one can endure—they come from outside, they are accidents. But to suffer for one’s own faults—ah!—there is the sting of life. It was twenty years ago, too. She was little more than a girl then. She had been a wife for even less time than you have.
Lady Windermere	I am not interested in her—and—you should not mention this woman and me in the same breath. It is an error of taste. Sitting R. at desk.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, you could save this woman. She wants to get back into society, and she wants you to help her. Crossing to her.
Lady Windermere	Me!
Lord Windermere	Yes, you.
Lady Windermere	How impertinent of her! A pause.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, I came to ask you a great favour, and I still ask it of you, though you have discovered what I had intended you should never have known that I have given Mrs. Erlynne a large sum of money. I want you to send her an invitation for our party tonight. Standing L. of her.
Lady Windermere	You are mad! Rises.
Lord Windermere	I entreat you. People may chatter about her, do chatter about her, of course, but they don’t know anything definite against her. She has been to several houses—not to houses where you would go, I admit, but still to houses where women who are in what is called Society nowadays do go. That does not content her. She wants you to receive her once.
Lady Windermere	As a triumph for her, I suppose?
Lord Windermere	No; but because she knows that you are a good woman—and that if she comes here once she will have a chance of a happier, a surer life than she has had. She will make no further effort to know you. Won’t you help a woman who is trying to get back?
Lady Windermere	No! If a woman really repents, she never wishes to return to the society that has made or seen her ruin.
Lord Windermere	I beg of you.
Lady Windermere	Crossing to door R. I am going to dress for dinner, and don’t mention the subject again this evening. Arthur going to him C., you fancy because I have no father or mother that I am alone in the world, and that you can treat me as you choose. You are wrong, I have friends, many friends.
Lord Windermere	L.C. Margaret, you are talking foolishly, recklessly. I won’t argue with you, but I insist upon your asking Mrs. Erlynne tonight.
Lady Windermere	R.C. I shall do nothing of the kind. Crossing L.C.
Lord Windermere	You refuse? C.
Lady Windermere	Absolutely!
Lord Windermere	Ah, Margaret, do this for my sake; it is her last chance.
Lady Windermere	What has that to do with me?
Lord Windermere	How hard good women are!
Lady Windermere	How weak bad men are!
Lord Windermere	Margaret, none of us men may be good enough for the women we marry—that is quite true—but you don’t imagine I would ever—oh, the suggestion is monstrous!
Lady Windermere	Why should you be different from other men? I am told that there is hardly a husband in London who does not waste his life over some shameful passion.
Lord Windermere	I am not one of them.
Lady Windermere	I am not sure of that!
Lord Windermere	You are sure in your heart. But don’t make chasm after chasm between us. God knows the last few minutes have thrust us wide enough apart. Sit down and write the card.
Lady Windermere	Nothing in the whole world would induce me.
Lord Windermere	Crossing to bureau. Then I will! Rings electric bell, sits and writes card.
Lady Windermere	You are going to invite this woman? Crossing to him.
Lord Windermere	Yes. Pause.
	Enter Parker.
	Parker!
Parker	Yes, my lord. Comes down L.C.
Lord Windermere	Have this note sent to Mrs. Erlynne at No. 84A Curzon Street. Crossing to L.C. and giving note to Parker. There is no answer!
	Exit Parker* C.*
Lady Windermere	Arthur, if that woman comes here, I shall insult her.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, don’t say that.
Lady Windermere	I mean it.
Lord Windermere	Child, if you did such a thing, there’s not a woman in London who wouldn’t pity you.
Lady Windermere	There is not a good woman in London who would not applaud me. We have been too lax. We must make an example. I propose to begin tonight. Picking up fan. Yes, you gave me this fan today; it was your birthday present. If that woman crosses my threshold, I shall strike her across the face with it.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, you couldn’t do such a thing.
Lady Windermere	You don’t know me! Moves R.
	Enter Parker.
	Parker!
Parker	Yes, my lady.
Lady Windermere	I shall dine in my own room. I don’t want dinner, in fact. See that everything is ready by half-past ten. And, Parker, be sure you pronounce the names of the guests very distinctly tonight. Sometimes you speak so fast that I miss them. I am particularly anxious to hear the names quite clearly, so as to make no mistake. You understand, Parker?
Parker	Yes, my lady.
Lady Windermere	That will do!
	Exit Parker* C.*
	Speaking to Lord Windermere. Arthur, if that woman comes here—I warn you—
Lord Windermere	Margaret, you’ll ruin us!
Lady Windermere	Us! From this moment my life is separate from yours. But if you wish to avoid a public scandal, write at once to this woman, and tell her that I forbid her to come here!
Lord Windermere	I will not—I cannot—she must come!
Lady Windermere	Then I shall do exactly as I have said. Goes R. You leave me no choice.
	Exit R.
Lord Windermere	Calling after her. Margaret! Margaret! A pause. My God! What shall I do? I dare not tell her who this woman really is. The shame would kill her. Sinks down into a chair and buries his face in his hands.

Act Drop

Act II

The Duchess of Berwick	Up C. So strange Lord Windermere isn’t here. Mr. Hopper is very late, too. You have kept those five dances for him, Agatha? Comes down.
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Sitting on sofa. Just let me see your card. I’m so glad Lady Windermere has revived cards.—They’re a mother’s only safeguard. You dear simple little thing! Scratches out two names. No nice girl should ever waltz with such particularly younger sons! It looks so fast! The last two dances you might pass on the terrace with Mr. Hopper.
	Enter Mr. Dumby* and Lady Plymdale from the ballroom.*
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Fanning herself. The air is so pleasant there.
Parker	Mrs. Cowper-Cowper. Lady Stutfield. Sir James Royston. Mr. Guy Berkeley.
	These people enter as announced.
Dumby	Good evening, Lady Stutfield. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
Lady Stutfield	I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It’s been a delightful season, hasn’t it?
Dumby	Quite delightful! Good evening, Duchess. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
The Duchess of Berwick	I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It has been a very dull season, hasn’t it?
Dumby	Dreadfully dull! Dreadfully dull!
Mr. Cowper-Cowper	Good evening, Mr. Dumby. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
Dumby	Oh, I think not. There’ll probably be two more. Wanders back to Lady Plymdale.
Parker	Mr. Rufford. Lady Jedburgh and Miss Graham. Mr. Hopper.
	These people enter as announced.
Hopper	How do you do, Lady Windermere? How do you do, Duchess? Bows to Lady Agatha.
The Duchess of Berwick	Dear Mr. Hopper, how nice of you to come so early. We all know how you are run after in London.
Hopper	Capital place, London! They are not nearly so exclusive in London as they are in Sydney.
The Duchess of Berwick	Ah! we know your value, Mr. Hopper. We wish there were more like you. It would make life so much easier. Do you know, Mr. Hopper, dear Agatha and I are so much interested in Australia. It must be so pretty with all the dear little kangaroos flying about. Agatha has found it on the map. What a curious shape it is! Just like a large packing case. However, it is a very young country, isn’t it?
Hopper	Wasn’t it made at the same time as the others, Duchess?
The Duchess of Berwick	How clever you are, Mr. Hopper. You have a cleverness quite of your own. Now I mustn’t keep you.
Hopper	But I should like to dance with Lady Agatha, Duchess.
The Duchess of Berwick	Well, I hope she has a dance left. Have you a dance left, Agatha?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	The next one?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
Hopper	May I have the pleasure? Lady Agatha bows.
The Duchess of Berwick	Mind you take great care of my little chatterbox, Mr. Hopper.
	Lady Agatha and Mr. Hopper pass into ballroom.
	Enter Lord Windermere.
Lord Windermere	Margaret, I want to speak to you.
Lady Windermere	In a moment. The music drops.
Parker	Lord Augustus Lorton.
	Enter Lord Augustus.
Lord Augustus	Good evening, Lady Windermere.
The Duchess of Berwick	Sir James, will you take me into the ballroom? Augustus has been dining with us tonight. I really have had quite enough of dear Augustus for the moment.
	Sir James Royston gives the Duchess his arm and escorts her into the ballroom.
Parker	Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Bowden. Lord and Lady Paisley. Lord Darlington.
	These people enter as announced.
Lord Augustus	Coming up to Lord Windermere. Want to speak to you particularly, dear boy. I’m worn to a shadow. Know I don’t look it. None of us men do look what we really are. Demmed good thing, too. What I want to know is this. Who is she? Where does she come from? Why hasn’t she got any demmed relations? Demmed nuisance, relations! But they make one so demmed respectable.
Lord Windermere	You are talking of Mrs. Erlynne, I suppose? I only met her six months ago. Till then, I never knew of her existence.
Lord Augustus	You have seen a good deal of her since then.
Lord Windermere	Coldly. Yes, I have seen a good deal of her since then. I have just seen her.
Lord Augustus	Egad! the women are very down on her. I have been dining with Arabella this evening! By Jove! you should have heard what she said about Mrs. Erlynne. She didn’t leave a rag on her. … Aside. Berwick and I told her that didn’t matter much, as the lady in question must have an extremely fine figure. You should have seen Arabella’s expression! … But, look here, dear boy. I don’t know what to do about Mrs. Erlynne. Egad! I might be married to her; she treats me with such demmed indifference. She’s deuced clever, too! She explains everything. Egad! she explains you. She has got any amount of explanations for you—and all of them different.
Lord Windermere	No explanations are necessary about my friendship with Mrs. Erlynne.
Lord Augustus	Hem! Well, look here, dear old fellow. Do you think she will ever get into this demmed thing called Society? Would you introduce her to your wife? No use beating about the confounded bush. Would you do that?
Lord Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne is coming here tonight.
Lord Augustus	Your wife has sent her a card?
Lord Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne has received a card.
Lord Augustus	Then she’s all right, dear boy. But why didn’t you tell me that before? It would have saved me a heap of worry and demmed misunderstandings!
	Lady Agatha and Mr. Hopper cross and exit on terrace L.U.E.
Parker	Mr. Cecil Graham!
	Enter Mr. Cecil Graham.
Cecil Graham	Bows to Lady Windermere, passes over and shakes hands with Lord Windermere. Good evening, Arthur. Why don’t you ask me how I am? I like people to ask me how I am. It shows a widespread interest in my health. Now, tonight I am not at all well. Been dining with my people. Wonder why it is one’s people are always so tedious? My father would talk morality after dinner. I told him he was old enough to know better. But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don’t know anything at all. Hallo, Tuppy! Hear you’re going to be married again; thought you were tired of that game.
Lord Augustus	You’re excessively trivial, my dear boy, excessively trivial!
Cecil Graham	By the way, Tuppy, which is it? Have you been twice married and once divorced, or twice divorced and once married? I say you’ve been twice divorced and once married. It seems so much more probable.
Lord Augustus	I have a very bad memory. I really don’t remember which. Moves away R.
Lady Plymdale	Lord Windermere, I’ve something most particular to ask you.
Lord Windermere	I am afraid—if you will excuse me—I must join my wife.
Lady Plymdale	Oh, you mustn’t dream of such a thing. It’s most dangerous nowadays for a husband to pay any attention to his wife in public. It always makes people think that he beats her when they’re alone. The world has grown so suspicious of anything that looks like a happy married life. But I’ll tell you what it is at supper. Moves towards door of ballroom.
Lord Windermere	C. Margaret! I must speak to you.
Lady Windermere	Will you hold my fan for me, Lord Darlington? Thanks. Comes down to him.
Lord Windermere	Crossing to her. Margaret, what you said before dinner was, of course, impossible?
Lady Windermere	That woman is not coming here tonight!
Lord Windermere	R.C. Mrs. Erlynne is coming here, and if you in any way annoy or wound her, you will bring shame and sorrow on us both. Remember that! Ah, Margaret! only trust me! A wife should trust her husband!
Lady Windermere	C. London is full of women who trust their husbands. One can always recognise them. They look so thoroughly unhappy. I am not going to be one of them. Moves up. Lord Darlington, will you give me back my fan, please? Thanks. … A useful thing a fan, isn’t it? … I want a friend tonight, Lord Darlington: I didn’t know I would want one so soon.
Lord Darlington	Lady Windermere! I knew the time would come some day; but why tonight?
Lord Windermere	I will tell her. I must. It would be terrible if there were any scene. Margaret …
Parker	Mrs. Erlynne!
	Lord Windermere starts. Mrs. Erlynne enters, very beautifully dressed and very dignified. Lady Windermere clutches at her fan, then lets it drop on the door. She bows coldly to Mrs. Erlynne, who bows to her sweetly in turn, and sails into the room.
Lord Darlington	You have dropped your fan, Lady Windermere. Picks it up and hands it to her.
Mrs. Erlynne	C. How do you do, again, Lord Windermere? How charming your sweet wife looks! Quite a picture!
Lord Windermere	In a low voice. It was terribly rash of you to come!
Mrs. Erlynne	Smiling. The wisest thing I ever did in my life. And, by the way, you must pay me a good deal of attention this evening. I am afraid of the women. You must introduce me to some of them. The men I can always manage. How do you do, Lord Augustus? You have quite neglected me lately. I have not seen you since yesterday. I am afraid you’re faithless. Everyone told me so.
Lord Augustus	R. Now really, Mrs. Erlynne, allow me to explain.
Mrs. Erlynne	R.C. No, dear Lord Augustus, you can’t explain anything. It is your chief charm.
Lord Augustus	Ah! if you find charms in me, Mrs. Erlynne—
	They converse together. Lord Windermere* moves uneasily about the room watching Mrs. Erlynne.*
Lord Darlington	To Lady Windermere. How pale you are!
Lady Windermere	Cowards are always pale!
Lord Darlington	You look faint. Come out on the terrace.
Lady Windermere	Yes. To Parker. Parker, send my cloak out.
Mrs. Erlynne	Crossing to her. Lady Windermere, how beautifully your terrace is illuminated. Reminds me of Prince Doria’s at Rome.
	Lady Windermere bows coldly, and goes off with Lord Darlington.
	Oh, how do you do, Mr. Graham? Isn’t that your aunt, Lady Jedburgh? I should so much like to know her.
Cecil Graham	After a moment’s hesitation and embarrassment. Oh, certainly, if you wish it. Aunt Caroline, allow me to introduce Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	So pleased to meet you, Lady Jedburgh. Sits beside her on the sofa. Your nephew and I are great friends. I am so much interested in his political career. I think he’s sure to be a wonderful success. He thinks like a Tory, and talks like a Radical, and that’s so important nowadays. He’s such a brilliant talker, too. But we all know from whom he inherits that. Lord Allandale was saying to me only yesterday, in the Park, that Mr. Graham talks almost as well as his aunt.
Lady Jedburgh	R. Most kind of you to say these charming things to me! Mrs. Erlynne smiles, and continues conversation.
Dumby	To Cecil Graham. Did you introduce Mrs. Erlynne to Lady Jedburgh?
Cecil Graham	Had to, my dear fellow. Couldn’t help it! That woman can make one do anything she wants. How, I don’t know.
Dumby	Hope to goodness she won’t speak to me! Saunters towards Lady Plymdale.
Mrs. Erlynne	C. To Lady Jedburgh. On Thursday? With great pleasure. Rises, and speaks to Lord Windermere, laughing. What a bore it is to have to be civil to these old dowagers! But they always insist on it!
Lady Plymdale	To Mr. Dumby. Who is that well-dressed woman talking to Windermere?
Dumby	Haven’t got the slightest idea! Looks like an édition de luxe of a wicked French novel, meant specially for the English market.
Mrs. Erlynne	So that is poor Dumby with Lady Plymdale? I hear she is frightfully jealous of him. He doesn’t seem anxious to speak to me tonight. I suppose he is afraid of her. Those straw-coloured women have dreadful tempers. Do you know, I think I’ll dance with you first, Windermere. Lord Windermere bites his lip and frowns. It will make Lord Augustus so jealous! Lord Augustus! Lord Augustus comes down. Lord Windermere insists on my dancing with him first, and, as it’s his own house, I can’t well refuse. You know I would much sooner dance with you.
Lord Augustus	With a low bow. I wish I could think so, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	You know it far too well. I can fancy a person dancing through life with you and finding it charming.
Lord Augustus	Placing his hand on his white waistcoat. Oh, thank you, thank you. You are the most adorable of all ladies!
Mrs. Erlynne	What a nice speech! So simple and so sincere! Just the sort of speech I like. Well, you shall hold my bouquet. Goes towards ballroom on Lord Windermere’s* arm.* Ah, Mr. Dumby, how are you? I am so sorry I have been out the last three times you have called. Come and lunch on Friday.
Dumby	With perfect nonchalance. Delighted!
	Lady Plymdale glares with indignation at Mr. Dumby. Lord Augustus follows Mrs. Erlynne and Lord Windermere into the ballroom holding bouquet.
Lady Plymdale	To Mr. Dumby. What an absolute brute you are! I never can believe a word you say! Why did you tell me you didn’t know her? What do you mean by calling on her three times running? You are not to go to lunch there; of course you understand that?
Dumby	My dear Laura, I wouldn’t dream of going!
Lady Plymdale	You haven’t told me her name yet! Who is she?
Dumby	Coughs slightly and smooths his hair. She’s a Mrs. Erlynne.
Lady Plymdale	That woman!
Dumby	Yes; that is what everyone calls her.
Lady Plymdale	How very interesting! How intensely interesting! I really must have a good stare at her. Goes to door of ballroom and looks in. I have heard the most shocking things about her. They say she is ruining poor Windermere. And Lady Windermere, who goes in for being so proper, invites her! How extremely amusing! It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing. You are to lunch there on Friday!
Dumby	Why?
Lady Plymdale	Because I want you to take my husband with you. He has been so attentive lately, that he has become a perfect nuisance. Now, this woman is just the thing for him. He’ll dance attendance upon her as long as she lets him, and won’t bother me. I assure you, women of that kind are most useful. They form the basis of other people’s marriages.
Dumby	What a mystery you are!
Lady Plymdale	Looking at him. I wish you were!
Dumby	I am—to myself. I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly; but I don’t see any chance of it just at present.
	They pass into the ballroom, and Lady Windermere* and Lord Darlington enter from the terrace.*
Lady Windermere	Yes. Her coming here is monstrous, unbearable. I know now what you meant today at teatime. Why didn’t you tell me right out? You should have!
Lord Darlington	I couldn’t! A man can’t tell these things about another man! But if I had known he was going to make you ask her here tonight, I think I would have told you. That insult, at any rate, you would have been spared.
Lady Windermere	I did not ask her. He insisted on her coming—against my entreaties—against my commands. Oh! the house is tainted for me! I feel that every woman here sneers at me as she dances by with my husband. What have I done to deserve this? I gave him all my life. He took it—used it—spoiled it! I am degraded in my own eyes; and I lack courage—I am a coward! Sits down on sofa.
Lord Darlington	If I know you at all, I know that you can’t live with a man who treats you like this! What sort of life would you have with him? You would feel that he was lying to you every moment of the day. You would feel that the look in his eyes was false, his voice false, his touch false, his passion false. He would come to you when he was weary of others; you would have to comfort him. He would come to you when he was devoted to others; you would have to charm him. You would have to be to him the mask of his real life, the cloak to hide his secret.
Lady Windermere	You are right—you are terribly right. But where am I to turn? You said you would be my friend, Lord Darlington.—Tell me, what am I to do? Be my friend now.
Lord Darlington	Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. I love you—
Lady Windermere	No, no! Rises.
Lord Darlington	Yes, I love you! You are more to me than anything in the whole world. What does your husband give you? Nothing. Whatever is in him he gives to this wretched woman, whom he has thrust into your society, into your home, to shame you before everyone. I offer you my life—
Lady Windermere	Lord Darlington!
Lord Darlington	My life—my whole life. Take it, and do with it what you will. … I love you—love you as I have never loved any living thing. From the moment I met you I loved you, loved you blindly, adoringly, madly! You did not know it then—you know it now! Leave this house tonight. I won’t tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world’s voice, or the voice of society. They matter a great deal. They matter far too much. But there are moments when one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You have that moment now. Choose! Oh, my love, choose.
Lady Windermere	Moving slowly away from him, and looking at him with startled eyes. I have not the courage.
Lord Darlington	Following her. Yes; you have the courage. There may be six months of pain, of disgrace even, but when you no longer bear his name, when you bear mine, all will be well. Margaret, my love, my wife that shall be some day—yes, my wife! You know it! What are you now? This woman has the place that belongs by right to you. Oh! go—go out of this house, with head erect, with a smile upon your lips, with courage in your eyes. All London will know why you did it; and who will blame you? No one. If they do, what matter? Wrong? What is wrong? It’s wrong for a man to abandon his wife for a shameless woman. It is wrong for a wife to remain with a man who so dishonours her. You said once you would make no compromise with things. Make none now. Be brave! Be yourself!
Lady Windermere	I am afraid of being myself. Let me think! Let me wait! My husband may return to me. Sits down on sofa.
Lord Darlington	And you would take him back! You are not what I thought you were. You are just the same as every other woman. You would stand anything rather than face the censure of a world, whose praise you would despise. In a week you will be driving with this woman in the Park. She will be your constant guest—your dearest friend. You would endure anything rather than break with one blow this monstrous tie. You are right. You have no courage; none!
Lady Windermere	Ah, give me time to think. I cannot answer you now. Passes her hand nervously over her brow.
Lord Darlington	It must be now or not at all.
Lady Windermere	Rising from the sofa. Then, not at all! A pause.
Lord Darlington	You break my heart!
Lady Windermere	Mine is already broken. A pause.
Lord Darlington	Tomorrow I leave England. This is the last time I shall ever look on you. You will never see me again. For one moment our lives met—our souls touched. They must never meet or touch again. Goodbye, Margaret. Exit.
Lady Windermere	How alone I am in life! How terribly alone!
	The music stops. Enter the The Duchess of Berwick* and Lord Paisley laughing and talking. Other guests come on from ballroom.*
The Duchess of Berwick	Dear Margaret, I’ve just been having such a delightful chat with Mrs. Erlynne. I am so sorry for what I said to you this afternoon about her. Of course, she must be all right if you invite her. A most attractive woman, and has such sensible views on life. Told me she entirely disapproved of people marrying more than once, so I feel quite safe about poor Augustus. Can’t imagine why people speak against her. It’s those horrid nieces of mine—the Saville girls—they’re always talking scandal. Still, I should go to Homburg, dear, I really should. She is just a little too attractive. But where is Agatha? Oh, there she is: Lady Agatha and Mr. Hopper enter from terrace L.U.E. Mr. Hopper, I am very, very angry with you. You have taken Agatha out on the terrace, and she is so delicate.
Hopper	Awfully sorry, Duchess. We went out for a moment and then got chatting together.
The Duchess of Berwick	C. Ah, about dear Australia, I suppose?
Hopper	Yes!
The Duchess of Berwick	Agatha, darling! Beckons her over.
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma!
The Duchess of Berwick	Aside. Did Mr. Hopper definitely—
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	And what answer did you give him, dear child?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Affectionately. My dear one! You always say the right thing. Mr. Hopper! James! Agatha has told me everything. How cleverly you have both kept your secret.
Hopper	You don’t mind my taking Agatha off to Australia, then, Duchess?
The Duchess of Berwick	Indignantly. To Australia? Oh, don’t mention that dreadful vulgar place.
Hopper	But she said she’d like to come with me.
The Duchess of Berwick	Severely. Did you say that, Agatha?
Lady Agatha	Yes, mamma.
The Duchess of Berwick	Agatha, you say the most silly things possible. I think on the whole that Grosvenor Square would be a more healthy place to reside in. There are lots of vulgar people live in Grosvenor Square, but at any rate there are no horrid kangaroos crawling about. But we’ll talk about that tomorrow. James, you can take Agatha down. You’ll come to lunch, of course, James. At half-past one, instead of two. The Duke will wish to say a few words to you, I am sure.
Hopper	I should like to have a chat with the Duke, Duchess. He has not said a single word to me yet.
The Duchess of Berwick	I think you’ll find he will have a great deal to say to you tomorrow. Exit Lady Agatha* with Mr. Hopper.* And now good night, Margaret. I’m afraid it’s the old, old story, dear. Love—well, not love at first sight, but love at the end of the season, which is so much more satisfactory.
Lady Windermere	Good night, Duchess.
	Exit the The Duchess of Berwick* on Lord Paisley’s arm.*
Lady Plymdale	My dear Margaret, what a handsome woman your husband has been dancing with! I should be quite jealous if I were you! Is she a great friend of yours?
Lady Windermere	No!
Lady Plymdale	Really? Good night, dear. Looks at Mr. Dumby* and exit.*
Dumby	Awful manners young Hopper has!
Cecil Graham	Ah! Hopper is one of Nature’s gentlemen, the worst type of gentleman I know.
Dumby	Sensible woman, Lady Windermere. Lots of wives would have objected to Mrs. Erlynne coming. But Lady Windermere has that uncommon thing called common sense.
Cecil Graham	And Windermere knows that nothing looks so like innocence as an indiscretion.
Dumby	Yes; dear Windermere is becoming almost modern. Never thought he would. Bows to Lady Windermere* and exit.*
Lady Jedburgh	Good night, Lady Windermere. What a fascinating woman Mrs. Erlynne is! She is coming to lunch on Thursday, won’t you come too? I expect the Bishop and dear Lady Merton.
Lady Windermere	I am afraid I am engaged, Lady Jedburgh.
Lady Jedburgh	So sorry. Come, dear. Exeunt Lady Jedburgh* and Miss Graham.*
	Enter Mrs. Erlynne* and Lord Windermere.*
Mrs. Erlynne	Charming ball it has been! Quite reminds me of old days. Sits on sofa. And I see that there are just as many fools in society as there used to be. So pleased to find that nothing has altered! Except Margaret. She’s grown quite pretty. The last time I saw her—twenty years ago, she was a fright in flannel. Positive fright, I assure you. The dear Duchess! and that sweet Lady Agatha! Just the type of girl I like! Well, really, Windermere, if I am to be the Duchess’s sister-in-law—
Lord Windermere	Sitting L. of her. But are you—?
	Exit Mr. Cecil Graham* with rest of guests. Lady Windermere watches, with a look of scorn and pain, Mrs. Erlynne and her husband. They are unconscious of her presence.*
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh, yes! He’s to call tomorrow at twelve o’clock! He wanted to propose tonight. In fact he did. He kept on proposing. Poor Augustus, you know how he repeats himself. Such a bad habit! But I told him I wouldn’t give him an answer till tomorrow. Of course I am going to take him. And I dare say I’ll make him an admirable wife, as wives go. And there is a great deal of good in Lord Augustus. Fortunately it is all on the surface. Just where good qualities should be. Of course you must help me in this matter.
Lord Windermere	I am not called on to encourage Lord Augustus, I suppose?
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh, no! I do the encouraging. But you will make me a handsome settlement, Windermere, won’t you?
Lord Windermere	Frowning. Is that what you want to talk to me about tonight?
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes.
Lord Windermere	With a gesture of impatience. I will not talk of it here.
Mrs. Erlynne	Laughing. Then we will talk of it on the terrace. Even business should have a picturesque background. Should it not, Windermere? With a proper background women can do anything.
Lord Windermere	Won’t tomorrow do as well?
Mrs. Erlynne	No; you see, tomorrow I am going to accept him. And I think it would be a good thing if I was able to tell him that I had—well, what shall I say?—£2,000 a year left to me by a third cousin—or a second husband—or some distant relative of that kind. It would be an additional attraction, wouldn’t it? You have a delightful opportunity now of paying me a compliment, Windermere. But you are not very clever at paying compliments. I am afraid Margaret doesn’t encourage you in that excellent habit. It’s a great mistake on her part. When men give up saying what is charming, they give up thinking what is charming. But seriously, what do you say to £2,000? £2,500, I think. In modern life margin is everything. Windermere, don’t you think the world an intensely amusing place? I do!
	Exit on terrace with Lord Windermere. Music strikes up in ballroom.
Lady Windermere	To stay in this house any longer is impossible. Tonight a man who loves me offered me his whole life. I refused it. It was foolish of me. I will offer him mine now. I will give him mine. I will go to him! Puts on cloak and goes to the door, then turns back. Sits down at table and writes a letter, puts it into an envelope, and leaves it on table. Arthur has never understood me. When he reads this, he will. He may do as he chooses now with his life. I have done with mine as I think best, as I think right. It is he who has broken the bond of marriage—not I. I only break its bondage.
	Exit.
	Parker enters L. and crosses towards the ballroom R. Enter Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	Is Lady Windermere in the ballroom?
Parker	Her ladyship has just gone out.
Mrs. Erlynne	Gone out? She’s not on the terrace?
Parker	No, madam. Her ladyship has just gone out of the house.
Mrs. Erlynne	Starts, and looks at the servant with a puzzled expression in her face. Out of the house?
Parker	Yes, madam—her ladyship told me she had left a letter for his lordship on the table.
Mrs. Erlynne	A letter for Lord Windermere?
Parker	Yes, madam.
Mrs. Erlynne	Thank you.
	Exit Parker. The music in the ballroom stops. Gone out of her house! A letter addressed to her husband! Goes over to bureau and looks at letter. Takes it up and lays it down again with a shudder of fear. No, no! It would be impossible! Life doesn’t repeat its tragedies like that! Oh, why does this horrible fancy come across me? Why do I remember now the one moment of my life I most wish to forget? Does life repeat its tragedies? Tears letter open and reads it, then sinks down into a chair with a gesture of anguish. Oh, how terrible! The same words that twenty years ago I wrote to her father! and how bitterly I have been punished for it! No; my punishment, my real punishment is tonight, is now! Still seated R.
	Enter Lord Windermere* L.U.E.*
Lord Windermere	Have you said good night to my wife? Comes C.
Mrs. Erlynne	Crushing letter in her hand. Yes.
Lord Windermere	Where is she?
Mrs. Erlynne	She is very tired. She has gone to bed. She said she had a headache.
Lord Windermere	I must go to her. You’ll excuse me?
Mrs. Erlynne	Rising hurriedly. Oh, no! It’s nothing serious. She’s only very tired, that is all. Besides, there are people still in the supper-room. She wants you to make her apologies to them. She said she didn’t wish to be disturbed. Drops letter. She asked me to tell you!
Lord Windermere	Picks up letter. You have dropped something.
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh yes, thank you, that is mine. Puts out her hand to take it.
Lord Windermere	Still looking at letter. But it’s my wife’s handwriting, isn’t it?
Mrs. Erlynne	Takes the letter quickly. Yes, it’s—an address. Will you ask them to call my carriage, please?
Lord Windermere	Certainly.
	Goes L. and Exit.
Mrs. Erlynne	Thanks! What can I do? What can I do? I feel a passion awakening within me that I never felt before. What can it mean? The daughter must not be like the mother—that would be terrible. How can I save her? How can I save my child? A moment may ruin a life. Who knows that better than I? Windermere must be got out of the house; that is absolutely necessary. Goes L. But how shall I do it? It must be done somehow. Ah!
	Enter Lord Augustus* R.U.E. carrying bouquet.*
Lord Augustus	Dear lady, I am in such suspense! May I not have an answer to my request?
Mrs. Erlynne	Lord Augustus, listen to me. You are to take Lord Windermere down to your club at once, and keep him there as long as possible. You understand?
Lord Augustus	But you said you wished me to keep early hours!
Mrs. Erlynne	Nervously. Do what I tell you. Do what I tell you.
Lord Augustus	And my reward?
Mrs. Erlynne	Your reward? Your reward? Oh! ask me that tomorrow. But don’t let Windermere out of your sight tonight. If you do I will never forgive you. I will never speak to you again. I’ll have nothing to do with you. Remember you are to keep Windermere at your club, and don’t let him come back tonight.
	Exit L.
Lord Augustus	Well, really, I might be her husband already. Positively I might. Follows her in a bewildered manner.

Act Drop

Act III

Lady Windermere	Standing by the fireplace. Why doesn’t he come? This waiting is horrible. He should be here. Why is he not here, to wake by passionate words some fire within me? I am cold—cold as a loveless thing. Arthur must have read my letter by this time. If he cared for me, he would have come after me, would have taken me back by force. But he doesn’t care. He’s entrammelled by this woman—fascinated by her—dominated by her. If a woman wants to hold a man, she has merely to appeal to what is worst in him. We make gods of men and they leave us. Others make brutes of them and they fawn and are faithful. How hideous life is! … Oh! it was mad of me to come here, horribly mad. And yet, which is the worst, I wonder, to be at the mercy of a man who loves one, or the wife of a man who in one’s own house dishonours one? What woman knows? What woman in the whole world? But will he love me always, this man to whom I am giving my life? What do I bring him? Lips that have lost the note of joy, eyes that are blinded by tears, chill hands and icy heart. I bring him nothing. I must go back—no; I can’t go back, my letter has put me in their power—Arthur would not take me back! That fatal letter! No! Lord Darlington leaves England tomorrow. I will go with him—I have no choice. Sits down for a few moments. Then starts up and puts on her cloak. No, no! I will go back, let Arthur do with me what he pleases. I can’t wait here. It has been madness my coming. I must go at once. As for Lord Darlington—Oh! here he is! What shall I do? What can I say to him? Will he let me go away at all? I have heard that men are brutal, horrible … Oh! Hides her face in her hands.
	Enter Mrs. Erlynne* L.*
Mrs. Erlynne	Lady Windermere! Lady Windermere starts and looks up. Then recoils in contempt. Thank Heaven I am in time. You must go back to your husband’s house immediately.
Lady Windermere	Must?
Mrs. Erlynne	Authoritatively. Yes, you must! There is not a second to be lost. Lord Darlington may return at any moment.
Lady Windermere	Don’t come near me!
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh! You are on the brink of ruin, you are on the brink of a hideous precipice. You must leave this place at once, my carriage is waiting at the corner of the street. You must come with me and drive straight home.
	Lady Windermere throws off her cloak and flings it on the sofa.
	What are you doing?
Lady Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne—if you had not come here, I would have gone back. But now that I see you, I feel that nothing in the whole world would induce me to live under the same roof as Lord Windermere. You fill me with horror. There is something about you that stirs the wildest—rage within me. And I know why you are here. My husband sent you to lure me back that I might serve as a blind to whatever relations exist between you and him.
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh! You don’t think that—you can’t.
Lady Windermere	Go back to my husband, Mrs. Erlynne. He belongs to you and not to me. I suppose he is afraid of a scandal. Men are such cowards. They outrage every law of the world, and are afraid of the world’s tongue. But he had better prepare himself. He shall have a scandal. He shall have the worst scandal there has been in London for years. He shall see his name in every vile paper, mine on every hideous placard.
Mrs. Erlynne	No—no—
Lady Windermere	Yes! he shall. Had he come himself, I admit I would have gone back to the life of degradation you and he had prepared for me—I was going back—but to stay himself at home, and to send you as his messenger—oh! it was infamous—infamous.
Mrs. Erlynne	C. Lady Windermere, you wrong me horribly—you wrong your husband horribly. He doesn’t know you are here—he thinks you are safe in your own house. He thinks you are asleep in your own room. He never read the mad letter you wrote to him!
Lady Windermere	R. Never read it!
Mrs. Erlynne	No—he knows nothing about it.
Lady Windermere	How simple you think me! Going to her. You are lying to me!
Mrs. Erlynne	Restraining herself. I am not. I am telling you the truth.
Lady Windermere	If my husband didn’t read my letter, how is it that you are here? Who told you I had left the house you were shameless enough to enter? Who told you where I had gone to? My husband told you, and sent you to decoy me back. Crosses L.
Mrs. Erlynne	R.C. Your husband has never seen the letter. I—saw it, I opened it. I—read it.
Lady Windermere	Turning to her. You opened a letter of mine to my husband? You wouldn’t dare!
Mrs. Erlynne	Dare! Oh! to save you from the abyss into which you are falling, there is nothing in the world I would not dare, nothing in the whole world. Here is the letter. Your husband has never read it. He never shall read it. Going to fireplace. It should never have been written. Tears it and throws it into the fire.
Lady Windermere	With infinite contempt in her voice and look. How do I know that that was my letter after all? You seem to think the commonest device can take me in!
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh! why do you disbelieve everything I tell you? What object do you think I have in coming here, except to save you from utter ruin, to save you from the consequence of a hideous mistake? That letter that is burnt now was your letter. I swear it to you!
Lady Windermere	Slowly. You took good care to burn it before I had examined it. I cannot trust you. You, whose whole life is a lie, could you speak the truth about anything? Sits down.
Mrs. Erlynne	Hurriedly. Think as you like about me—say what you choose against me, but go back, go back to the husband you love.
Lady Windermere	Sullenly. I do not love him!
Mrs. Erlynne	You do, and you know that he loves you.
Lady Windermere	He does not understand what love is. He understands it as little as you do—but I see what you want. It would be a great advantage for you to get me back. Dear Heaven! what a life I would have then! Living at the mercy of a woman who has neither mercy nor pity in her, a woman whom it is an infamy to meet, a degradation to know, a vile woman, a woman who comes between husband and wife!
Mrs. Erlynne	With a gesture of despair. Lady Windermere, Lady Windermere, don’t say such terrible things. You don’t know how terrible they are, how terrible and how unjust. Listen, you must listen! Only go back to your husband, and I promise you never to communicate with him again on any pretext—never to see him—never to have anything to do with his life or yours. The money that he gave me, he gave me not through love, but through hatred, not in worship, but in contempt. The hold I have over him—
Lady Windermere	Rising. Ah! you admit you have a hold!
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes, and I will tell you what it is. It is his love for you, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	You expect me to believe that?
Mrs. Erlynne	You must believe it! It is true. It is his love for you that has made him submit to—oh! call it what you like, tyranny, threats, anything you choose. But it is his love for you. His desire to spare you—shame, yes, shame and disgrace.
Lady Windermere	What do you mean? You are insolent! What have I to do with you?
Mrs. Erlynne	Humbly. Nothing. I know it—but I tell you that your husband loves you—that you may never meet with such love again in your whole life—that such love you will never meet—and that if you throw it away, the day may come when you will starve for love and it will not be given to you, beg for love and it will be denied you—Oh! Arthur loves you!
Lady Windermere	Arthur? And you tell me there is nothing between you?
Mrs. Erlynne	Lady Windermere, before Heaven your husband is guiltless of all offence towards you! And I—I tell you that had it ever occurred to me that such a monstrous suspicion would have entered your mind, I would have died rather than have crossed your life or his—oh! died, gladly died! Moves away to sofa R.
Lady Windermere	You talk as if you had a heart. Women like you have no hearts. Heart is not in you. You are bought and sold. Sits L.C.
Mrs. Erlynne	Starts, with a gesture of pain. Then restrains herself, and comes over to where Lady Windermere* is sitting. As she speaks, she stretches out her hands towards her, but does not dare to touch her.* Believe what you choose about me. I am not worth a moment’s sorrow. But don’t spoil your beautiful young life on my account! You don’t know what may be in store for you, unless you leave this house at once. You don’t know what it is to fall into the pit, to be despised, mocked, abandoned, sneered at—to be an outcast! to find the door shut against one, to have to creep in by hideous byways, afraid every moment lest the mask should be stripped from one’s face, and all the while to hear the laughter, the horrible laughter of the world, a thing more tragic than all the tears the world has ever shed. You don’t know what it is. One pays for one’s sin, and then one pays again, and all one’s life one pays. You must never know that.—As for me, if suffering be an expiation, then at this moment I have expiated all my faults, whatever they have been; for tonight you have made a heart in one who had it not, made it and broken it.—But let that pass. I may have wrecked my own life, but I will not let you wreck yours. You—why, you are a mere girl, you would be lost. You haven’t got the kind of brains that enables a woman to get back. You have neither the wit nor the courage. You couldn’t stand dishonour! No! Go back, Lady Windermere, to the husband who loves you, whom you love. You have a child, Lady Windermere. Go back to that child who even now, in pain or in joy, may be calling to you. Lady Windermere rises. God gave you that child. He will require from you that you make his life fine, that you watch over him. What answer will you make to God if his life is ruined through you? Back to your house, Lady Windermere—your husband loves you! He has never swerved for a moment from the love he bears you. But even if he had a thousand loves, you must stay with your child. If he was harsh to you, you must stay with your child. If he ill-treated you, you must stay with your child. If he abandoned you, your place is with your child.
	Lady Windermere bursts into tears and buries her face in her hands.
	Rushing to her. Lady Windermere!
Lady Windermere	Holding out her hands to her, helplessly, as a child might do. Take me home. Take me home.
Mrs. Erlynne	Is about to embrace her. Then restrains herself. There is a look of wonderful joy in her face. Come! Where is your cloak? Getting it from sofa. Here. Put it on. Come at once!
	They go to the door.
Lady Windermere	Stop! Don’t you hear voices?
Mrs. Erlynne	No, no! There was no one!
Lady Windermere	Yes, there is! Listen! Oh! that is my husband’s voice! He is coming in! Save me! Oh, it’s some plot! You have sent for him.
	Voices outside.
Mrs. Erlynne	Silence! I’m here to save you, if I can. But I fear it is too late! There! Points to the curtain across the window. The first chance you have, slip out, if you ever get a chance!
Lady Windermere	But you?
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh! never mind me. I’ll face them.
	Lady Windermere hides herself behind the curtain.
Lord Augustus	Outside. Nonsense, dear Windermere, you must not leave me!
Mrs. Erlynne	Lord Augustus! Then it is I who am lost! Hesitates for a moment, then looks round and sees door R., and exits through it.
	Enter Lord Darlington, Mr. Dumby, Lord Windermere, Lord Augustus Lorton, and Mr. Cecil Graham.
Dumby	What a nuisance their turning us out of the club at this hour! It’s only two o’clock. Sinks into a chair. The lively part of the evening is only just beginning. Yawns and closes his eyes.
Lord Windermere	It is very good of you, Lord Darlington, allowing Augustus to force our company on you, but I’m afraid I can’t stay long.
Lord Darlington	Really! I am so sorry! You’ll take a cigar, won’t you?
Lord Windermere	Thanks! Sits down.
Lord Augustus	To Lord Windermere. My dear boy, you must not dream of going. I have a great deal to talk to you about, of demmed importance, too. Sits down with him at L. table.
Cecil Graham	Oh! We all know what that is! Tuppy can’t talk about anything but Mrs. Erlynne.
Lord Windermere	Well, that is no business of yours, is it, Cecil?
Cecil Graham	None! That is why it interests me. My own business always bores me to death. I prefer other people’s.
Lord Darlington	Have something to drink, you fellows. Cecil, you’ll have a whisky and soda?
Cecil Graham	Thanks. Goes to table with Lord Darlington. Mrs. Erlynne looked very handsome tonight, didn’t she?
Lord Darlington	I am not one of her admirers.
Cecil Graham	I usen’t to be, but I am now. Why! she actually made me introduce her to poor dear Aunt Caroline. I believe she is going to lunch there.
Lord Darlington	In Purple. No?
Cecil Graham	She is, really.
Lord Darlington	Excuse me, you fellows. I’m going away tomorrow. And I have to write a few letters. Goes to writing table and sits down.
Dumby	Clever woman, Mrs. Erlynne.
Cecil Graham	Hallo, Dumby! I thought you were asleep.
Dumby	I am, I usually am!
Lord Augustus	A very clever woman. Knows perfectly well what a demmed fool I am—knows it as well as I do myself.
	Cecil Graham comes towards him laughing.
	Ah, you may laugh, my boy, but it is a great thing to come across a woman who thoroughly understands one.
Dumby	It is an awfully dangerous thing. They always end by marrying one.
Cecil Graham	But I thought, Tuppy, you were never going to see her again! Yes! you told me so yesterday evening at the club. You said you’d heard—
	Whispering to him.
Lord Augustus	Oh, she’s explained that.
Cecil Graham	And the Wiesbaden affair?
Lord Augustus	She’s explained that too.
Dumby	And her income, Tuppy? Has she explained that?
Lord Augustus	In a very serious voice. She’s going to explain that tomorrow.
	Cecil Graham goes back to C. table.
Dumby	Awfully commercial, women nowadays. Our grandmothers threw their caps over the mills, of course, but, by Jove, their granddaughters only throw their caps over mills that can raise the wind for them.
Lord Augustus	You want to make her out a wicked woman. She is not!
Cecil Graham	Oh! Wicked women bother one. Good women bore one. That is the only difference between them.
Lord Augustus	Puffing a cigar. Mrs. Erlynne has a future before her.
Dumby	Mrs. Erlynne has a past before her.
Lord Augustus	I prefer women with a past. They’re always so demmed amusing to talk to.
Cecil Graham	Well, you’ll have lots of topics of conversation with her, Tuppy. Rising and going to him.
Lord Augustus	You’re getting annoying, dear-boy; you’re getting demmed annoying.
Cecil Graham	Puts his hands on his shoulders. Now, Tuppy, you’ve lost your figure and you’ve lost your character. Don’t lose your temper; you have only got one.
Lord Augustus	My dear boy, if I wasn’t the most good-natured man in London—
Cecil Graham	We’d treat you with more respect, wouldn’t we, Tuppy? Strolls away.
Dumby	The youth of the present day are quite monstrous. They have absolutely no respect for dyed hair. Lord Augustus looks round angrily.
Cecil Graham	Mrs. Erlynne has a very great respect for dear Tuppy.
Dumby	Then Mrs. Erlynne sets an admirable example to the rest of her sex. It is perfectly brutal the way most women nowadays behave to men who are not their husbands.
Lord Windermere	Dumby, you are ridiculous, and Cecil, you let your tongue run away with you. You must leave Mrs. Erlynne alone. You don’t really know anything about her, and you’re always talking scandal against her.
Cecil Graham	Coming towards him L.C. My dear Arthur, I never talk scandal. I only talk gossip.
Lord Windermere	What is the difference between scandal and gossip?
Cecil Graham	Oh! gossip is charming! History is merely gossip. But scandal is gossip made tedious by morality. Now, I never moralise. A man who moralises is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralises is invariably plain. There is nothing in the whole world so unbecoming to a woman as a Nonconformist conscience. And most women know it, I’m glad to say.
Lord Augustus	Just my sentiments, dear boy, just my sentiments.
Cecil Graham	Sorry to hear it, Tuppy; whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.
Lord Augustus	My dear boy, when I was your age—
Cecil Graham	But you never were, Tuppy, and you never will be. Goes up C. I say, Darlington, let us have some cards. You’ll play, Arthur, won’t you?
Lord Windermere	No, thanks, Cecil.
Dumby	With a sigh. Good heavens! how marriage ruins a man! It’s as demoralising as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
Cecil Graham	You’ll play, of course, Tuppy?
Lord Augustus	Pouring himself out a brandy and soda at table. Can’t, dear boy. Promised Mrs. Erlynne never to play or drink again.
Cecil Graham	Now, my dear Tuppy, don’t be led astray into the paths of virtue. Reformed, you would be perfectly tedious. That is the worst of women. They always want one to be good. And if we are good, when they meet us, they don’t love us at all. They like to find us quite irretrievably bad, and to leave us quite unattractively good.
Lord Darlington	Rising from R. table, where he has been writing letters. They always do find us bad!
Dumby	I don’t think we are bad. I think we are all good, except Tuppy.
Lord Darlington	No, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Sits down at C. table.
Dumby	We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars? Upon my word, you are very romantic tonight, Darlington.
Cecil Graham	Too romantic! You must be in love. Who is the girl?
Lord Darlington	The woman I love is not free, or thinks she isn’t. Glances instinctively at Lord Windermere* while he speaks.*
Cecil Graham	A married woman, then! Well, there’s nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It’s a thing no married man knows anything about.
Lord Darlington	Oh! she doesn’t love me. She is a good woman. She is the only good woman I have ever met in my life.
Cecil Graham	The only good woman you have ever met in your life?
Lord Darlington	Yes!
Cecil Graham	Lighting a cigarette. Well, you are a lucky fellow! Why, I have met hundreds of good women. I never seem to meet any but good women. The world is perfectly packed with good women. To know them is a middle-class education.
Lord Darlington	This woman has purity and innocence. She has everything we men have lost.
Cecil Graham	My dear fellow, what on earth should we men do going about with purity and innocence? A carefully thought-out buttonhole is much more effective.
Dumby	She doesn’t really love you then?
Lord Darlington	No, she does not!
Dumby	I congratulate you, my dear fellow. In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst; the last is a real tragedy! But I am interested to hear she does not love you. How long could you love a woman who didn’t love you, Cecil?
Cecil Graham	A woman who didn’t love me? Oh, all my life!
Dumby	So could I. But it’s so difficult to meet one.
Lord Darlington	How can you be so conceited, Dumby?
Dumby	I didn’t say it as a matter of conceit. I said it as a matter of regret. I have been wildly, madly adored. I am sorry I have. It has been an immense nuisance. I should like to be allowed a little time to myself now and then.
Lord Augustus	Looking round. Time to educate yourself, I suppose.
Dumby	No, time to forget all I have learned. That is much more important, dear Tuppy. Lord Augustus moves uneasily in his chair.
Lord Darlington	What cynics you fellows are!
Cecil Graham	What is a cynic? Sitting on the back of the sofa.
Lord Darlington	A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Cecil Graham	And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn’t know the market price of any single thing.
Lord Darlington	You always amuse me, Cecil. You talk as if you were a man of experience.
Cecil Graham	I am. Moves up to front off fireplace.
Lord Darlington	You are far too young!
Cecil Graham	That is a great error. Experience is a question of instinct about life. I have got it. Tuppy hasn’t. Experience is the name Tuppy gives to his mistakes. That is all. Lord Augustus looks round indignantly.
Dumby	Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Cecil Graham	Standing with his back to the fireplace. One shouldn’t commit any. Sees Lady Windermere’s* fan on sofa.*
Dumby	Life would be very dull without them.
Cecil Graham	Of course you are quite faithful to this woman you are in love with, Darlington, to this good woman?
Lord Darlington	Cecil, if one really loves a woman, all other women in the world become absolutely meaningless to one. Love changes one—I am changed.
Cecil Graham	Dear me! How very interesting! Tuppy, I want to talk to you. Lord Augustus takes no notice.
Dumby	It’s no use talking to Tuppy. You might just as well talk to a brick wall.
Cecil Graham	But I like talking to a brick wall—it’s the only thing in the world that never contradicts me! Tuppy!
Lord Augustus	Well, what is it? What is it? Rising and going over to Cecil Graham.
Cecil Graham	Come over here. I want you particularly. Aside. Darlington has been moralising and talking about the purity of love, and that sort of thing, and he has got some woman in his rooms all the time.
Lord Augustus	No, really! really!
Cecil Graham	In a low voice. Yes, here is her fan. Points to the fan.
Lord Augustus	Chuckling. By Jove! By Jove!
Lord Windermere	Up by door. I am really off now, Lord Darlington. I am sorry you are leaving England so soon. Pray call on us when you come back! My wife and I will be charmed to see you!
Lord Darlington	Upstage with Lord Windermere. I am afraid I shall be away for many years. Good night!
Cecil Graham	Arthur!
Lord Windermere	What?
Cecil Graham	I want to speak to you for a moment. No, do come!
Lord Windermere	Putting on his coat. I can’t—I’m off!
Cecil Graham	It is something very particular. It will interest you enormously.
Lord Windermere	Smiling. It is some of your nonsense, Cecil.
Cecil Graham	It isn’t! It isn’t really.
Lord Augustus	Going to him. My dear fellow, you mustn’t go yet. I have a lot to talk to you about. And Cecil has something to show you.
Lord Windermere	Walking over. Well, what is it?
Cecil Graham	Darlington has got a woman here in his rooms. Here is her fan. Amusing, isn’t it? A pause.
Lord Windermere	Good God! Seizes the fan—Dumby* rises.*
Cecil Graham	What is the matter?
Lord Windermere	Lord Darlington!
Lord Darlington	Turning round. Yes!
Lord Windermere	What is my wife’s fan doing here in your rooms? Hands off, Cecil. Don’t touch me.
Lord Darlington	Your wife’s fan?
Lord Windermere	Yes, here it is!
Lord Darlington	Walking towards him. I don’t know!
Lord Windermere	You must know. I demand an explanation. Don’t hold me, you fool. To Cecil Graham.
Lord Darlington	Aside. She is here after all!
Lord Windermere	Speak, sir! Why is my wife’s fan here? Answer me! By God! I’ll search your rooms, and if my wife’s here, I’ll—Moves.
Lord Darlington	You shall not search my rooms. You have no right to do so. I forbid you!
Lord Windermere	You scoundrel! I’ll not leave your room till I have searched every corner of it! What moves behind that curtain? Rushes towards the curtain C.
Mrs. Erlynne	Enters behind R. Lord Windermere!
Lord Windermere	Mrs. Erlynne!
	Everyone starts and turns round. Lady Windermere* slips out from behind the curtain and glides from the room L.*
Mrs. Erlynne	I am afraid I took your wife’s fan in mistake for my own, when I was leaving your house tonight. I am so sorry. Takes fan from him. Lord Windermere* looks at her in contempt. Lord Darlington in mingled astonishment and anger. Lord Augustus turns away. The other men smile at each other.*

Act Drop

Act IV

Scene: Same as in Act I.

Lady Windermere	Lying on sofa. How can I tell him? I can’t tell him. It would kill me. I wonder what happened after I escaped from that horrible room. Perhaps she told them the true reason of her being there, and the real meaning of that—fatal fan of mine. Oh, if he knows—how can I look him in the face again? He would never forgive me. Touches bell. How securely one thinks one lives—out of reach of temptation, sin, folly. And then suddenly—Oh! Life is terrible. It rules us, we do not rule it.
	Enter Rosalie* R.*
Rosalie	Did your ladyship ring for me?
Lady Windermere	Yes. Have you found out at what time Lord Windermere came in last night?
Rosalie	His lordship did not come in till five o’clock.
Lady Windermere	Five o’clock? He knocked at my door this morning, didn’t he?
Rosalie	Yes, my lady—at half-past nine. I told him your ladyship was not awake yet.
Lady Windermere	Did he say anything?
Rosalie	Something about your ladyship’s fan. I didn’t quite catch what his lordship said. Has the fan been lost, my lady? I can’t find it, and Parker says it was not left in any of the rooms. He has looked in all of them and on the terrace as well.
Lady Windermere	It doesn’t matter. Tell Parker not to trouble. That will do.
	Exit Rosalie.
Lady Windermere	Rising. She is sure to tell him. I can fancy a person doing a wonderful act of self-sacrifice, doing it spontaneously, recklessly, nobly—and afterwards finding out that it costs too much. Why should she hesitate between her ruin and mine? … How strange! I would have publicly disgraced her in my own house. She accepts public disgrace in the house of another to save me. … There is a bitter irony in things, a bitter irony in the way we talk of good and bad women. … Oh, what a lesson! and what a pity that in life we only get our lessons when they are of no use to us! For even if she doesn’t tell, I must. Oh! the shame of it, the shame of it. To tell it is to live through it all again. Actions are the first tragedy in life, words are the second. Words are perhaps the worst. Words are merciless. … Oh! Starts as Lord Windermere* enters.*
Lord Windermere	Kisses her. Margaret—how pale you look!
Lady Windermere	I slept very badly.
Lord Windermere	Sitting on sofa with her. I am so sorry. I came in dreadfully late, and didn’t like to wake you. You are crying, dear.
Lady Windermere	Yes, I am crying, for I have something to tell you, Arthur.
Lord Windermere	My dear child, you are not well. You’ve been doing too much. Let us go away to the country. You’ll be all right at Selby. The season is almost over. There is no use staying on. Poor darling! We’ll go away today, if you like. Rises. We can easily catch the 3:40. I’ll send a wire to Fannen. Crosses and sits down at table to write a telegram.
Lady Windermere	Yes; let us go away today. No; I can’t go today, Arthur. There is someone I must see before I leave town—someone who has been kind to me.
Lord Windermere	Rising and leaning over sofa. Kind to you?
Lady Windermere	Far more than that. Rises and goes to him. I will tell you, Arthur, but only love me, love me as you used to love me.
Lord Windermere	Used to? You are not thinking of that wretched woman who came here last night? Coming round and sitting R. of her. You don’t still imagine—no, you couldn’t.
Lady Windermere	I don’t. I know now I was wrong and foolish.
Lord Windermere	It was very good of you to receive her last night—but you are never to see her again.
Lady Windermere	Why do you say that? A pause.
Lord Windermere	Holding her hand. Margaret, I thought Mrs. Erlynne was a woman more sinned against than sinning, as the phrase goes. I thought she wanted to be good, to get back into a place that she had lost by a moment’s folly, to lead again a decent life. I believed what she told me—I was mistaken in her. She is bad—as bad as a woman can be.
Lady Windermere	Arthur, Arthur, don’t talk so bitterly about any woman. I don’t think now that people can be divided into the good and the bad as though they were two separate races or creations. What are called good women may have terrible things in them, mad moods of recklessness, assertion, jealousy, sin. Bad women, as they are termed, may have in them sorrow, repentance, pity, sacrifice. And I don’t think Mrs. Erlynne a bad woman—I know she’s not.
Lord Windermere	My dear child, the woman’s impossible. No matter what harm she tries to do us, you must never see her again. She is inadmissible anywhere.
Lady Windermere	But I want to see her. I want her to come here.
Lord Windermere	Never!
Lady Windermere	She came here once as your guest. She must come now as mine. That is but fair.
Lord Windermere	She should never have come here.
Lady Windermere	Rising. It is too late, Arthur, to say that now. Moves away.
Lord Windermere	Rising. Margaret, if you knew where Mrs. Erlynne went last night, after she left this house, you would not sit in the same room with her. It was absolutely shameless, the whole thing.
Lady Windermere	Arthur, I can’t bear it any longer. I must tell you. Last night—
	Enter Parker* with a tray on which lie Lady Windermere’s fan and a card.*
Parker	Mrs. Erlynne has called to return your ladyship’s fan which she took away by mistake last night. Mrs. Erlynne has written a message on the card.
Lady Windermere	Oh, ask Mrs. Erlynne to be kind enough to come up. Reads card. Say I shall be very glad to see her.
	Exit Parker.
	She wants to see me, Arthur.
Lord Windermere	Takes card and looks at it. Margaret, I beg you not to. Let me see her first, at any rate. She’s a very dangerous woman. She is the most dangerous woman I know. You don’t realise what you’re doing.
Lady Windermere	It is right that I should see her.
Lord Windermere	My child, you may be on the brink of a great sorrow. Don’t go to meet it. It is absolutely necessary that I should see her before you do.
Lady Windermere	Why should it be necessary?
	Enter Parker.
Parker	Mrs. Erlynne.
	Enter Mrs. Erlynne.
	Exit Parker.
Mrs. Erlynne	How do you do, Lady Windermere? To Lord Windermere. How do you do? Do you know, Lady Windermere, I am so sorry about your fan. I can’t imagine how I made such a silly mistake. Most stupid of me. And as I was driving in your direction, I thought I would take the opportunity of returning your property in person with many apologies for my carelessness, and of bidding you goodbye.
Lady Windermere	Goodbye? Moves towards sofa with Mrs. Erlynne* and sits down beside her.* Are you going away, then, Mrs. Erlynne?
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes; I am going to live abroad again. The English climate doesn’t suit me. My—heart is affected here, and that I don’t like. I prefer living in the south. London is too full of fogs and—and serious people, Lord Windermere. Whether the fogs produce the serious people or whether the serious people produce the fogs, I don’t know, but the whole thing rather gets on my nerves, and so I’m leaving this afternoon by the Club Train.
Lady Windermere	This afternoon? But I wanted so much to come and see you.
Mrs. Erlynne	How kind of you! But I am afraid I have to go.
Lady Windermere	Shall I never see you again, Mrs. Erlynne?
Mrs. Erlynne	I am afraid not. Our lives lie too far apart. But there is a little thing I would like you to do for me. I want a photograph of you, Lady Windermere—would you give me one? You don’t know how gratified I should be.
Lady Windermere	Oh, with pleasure. There is one on that table. I’ll show it to you. Goes across to the table.
Lord Windermere	Coming up to Mrs. Erlynne* and speaking in a low voice.* It is monstrous your intruding yourself here after your conduct last night.
Mrs. Erlynne	With an amused smile. My dear Windermere, manners before morals!
Lady Windermere	Returning. I’m afraid it is very flattering—I am not so pretty as that. Showing photograph.
Mrs. Erlynne	You are much prettier. But haven’t you got one of yourself with your little boy?
Lady Windermere	I have. Would you prefer one of those?
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes.
Lady Windermere	I’ll go and get it for you, if you’ll excuse me for a moment. I have one upstairs.
Mrs. Erlynne	So sorry, Lady Windermere, to give you so much trouble.
Lady Windermere	Moves to door R. No trouble at all, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	Thanks so much.
	Exit Lady Windermere* R.* You seem rather out of temper this morning, Windermere. Why should you be? Margaret and I get on charmingly together.
Lord Windermere	I can’t bear to see you with her. Besides, you have not told me the truth, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	I have not told her the truth, you mean.
Lord Windermere	Standing C. I sometimes wish you had. I should have been spared then the misery, the anxiety, the annoyance of the last six months. But rather than my wife should know—that the mother whom she was taught to consider as dead, the mother whom she has mourned as dead, is living—a divorced woman, going about under an assumed name, a bad woman preying upon life, as I know you now to be—rather than that, I was ready to supply you with money to pay bill after bill, extravagance after extravagance, to risk what occurred yesterday, the first quarrel I have ever had with my wife. You don’t understand what that means to me. How could you? But I tell you that the only bitter words that ever came from those sweet lips of hers were on your account, and I hate to see you next her. You sully the innocence that is in her. Moves L.C. And then I used to think that with all your faults you were frank and honest. You are not.
Mrs. Erlynne	Why do you say that?
Lord Windermere	You made me get you an invitation to my wife’s ball.
Mrs. Erlynne	For my daughter’s ball—yes.
Lord Windermere	You came, and within an hour of your leaving the house you are found in a man’s rooms—you are disgraced before everyone. Goes up stage C.
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes.
Lord Windermere	Turning round on her. Therefore I have a right to look upon you as what you are—a worthless, vicious woman. I have the right to tell you never to enter this house, never to attempt to come near my wife—
Mrs. Erlynne	Coldly. My daughter, you mean.
Lord Windermere	You have no right to claim her as your daughter. You left her, abandoned her when she was but a child in the cradle, abandoned her for your lover, who abandoned you in turn.
Mrs. Erlynne	Rising. Do you count that to his credit, Lord Windermere—or to mine?
Lord Windermere	To his, now that I know you.
Mrs. Erlynne	Take care—you had better be careful.
Lord Windermere	Oh, I am not going to mince words for you. I know you thoroughly.
Mrs. Erlynne	Looks steadily at him. I question that.
Lord Windermere	I do know you. For twenty years of your life you lived without your child, without a thought of your child. One day you read in the papers that she had married a rich man. You saw your hideous chance. You knew that to spare her the ignominy of learning that a woman like you was her mother, I would endure anything. You began your blackmailing.
Mrs. Erlynne	Shrugging her shoulders. Don’t use ugly words, Windermere. They are vulgar. I saw my chance, it is true, and took it.
Lord Windermere	Yes, you took it—and spoiled it all last night by being found out.
Mrs. Erlynne	With a strange smile. You are quite right, I spoiled it all last night.
Lord Windermere	And as for your blunder in taking my wife’s fan from here and then leaving it about in Darlington’s rooms, it is unpardonable. I can’t bear the sight of it now. I shall never let my wife use it again. The thing is soiled for me. You should have kept it and not brought it back.
Mrs. Erlynne	I think I shall keep it. Goes up. It’s extremely pretty. Takes up fan. I shall ask Margaret to give it to me.
Lord Windermere	I hope my wife will give it you.
Mrs. Erlynne	Oh, I’m sure she will have no objection.
Lord Windermere	I wish that at the same time she would give you a miniature she kisses every night before she prays—It’s the miniature of a young innocent-looking girl with beautiful dark hair.
Mrs. Erlynne	Ah, yes, I remember. How long ago that seems! Goes to sofa and sits down. It was done before I was married. Dark hair and an innocent expression were the fashion then, Windermere! A pause.
Lord Windermere	What do you mean by coming here this morning? What is your object? Crossing L.C. and sitting.
Mrs. Erlynne	With a note of irony in her voice. To bid goodbye to my dear daughter, of course. Lord Windermere bites his under lip in anger. Mrs. Erlynne looks at him, and her voice and manner become serious. In her accents as she talks there is a note of deep tragedy. For a moment she reveals herself. Oh, don’t imagine I am going to have a pathetic scene with her, weep on her neck and tell her who I am, and all that kind of thing. I have no ambition to play the part of a mother. Only once in my life have I known a mother’s feelings. That was last night. They were terrible—they made me suffer—they made me suffer too much. For twenty years, as you say, I have lived childless—I want to live childless still. Hiding her feelings with a trivial laugh. Besides, my dear Windermere, how on earth could I pose as a mother with a grown-up daughter? Margaret is twenty-one, and I have never admitted that I am more than twenty-nine, or thirty at the most. Twenty-nine when there are pink shades, thirty when there are not. So you see what difficulties it would involve. No, as far as I am concerned, let your wife cherish the memory of this dead, stainless mother. Why should I interfere with her illusions? I find it hard enough to keep my own. I lost one illusion last night. I thought I had no heart. I find I have, and a heart doesn’t suit me, Windermere. Somehow it doesn’t go with modern dress. It makes one look old. Takes up hand-mirror from table and looks into it. And it spoils one’s career at critical moments.
Lord Windermere	You fill me with horror—with absolute horror.
Mrs. Erlynne	Rising. I suppose, Windermere, you would like me to retire into a convent, or become a hospital nurse, or something of that kind, as people do in silly modern novels. That is stupid of you, Arthur; in real life we don’t do such things—not as long as we have any good looks left, at any rate. No—what consoles one nowadays is not repentance, but pleasure. Repentance is quite out of date. And besides, if a woman really repents, she has to go to a bad dressmaker, otherwise no one believes in her. And nothing in the world would induce me to do that. No; I am going to pass entirely out of your two lives. My coming into them has been a mistake—I discovered that last night.
Lord Windermere	A fatal mistake.
Mrs. Erlynne	Smiling. Almost fatal.
Lord Windermere	I am sorry now I did not tell my wife the whole thing at once.
Mrs. Erlynne	I regret my bad actions. You regret your good ones—that is the difference between us.
Lord Windermere	I don’t trust you. I will tell my wife. It’s better for her to know, and from me. It will cause her infinite pain—it will humiliate her terribly, but it’s right that she should know.
Mrs. Erlynne	You propose to tell her?
Lord Windermere	I am going to tell her.
Mrs. Erlynne	Going up to him. If you do, I will make my name so infamous that it will mar every moment of her life. It will ruin her, and make her wretched. If you dare to tell her, there is no depth of degradation I will not sink to, no pit of shame I will not enter. You shall not tell her—I forbid you.
Lord Windermere	Why?
Mrs. Erlynne	After a pause. If I said to you that I cared for her, perhaps loved her even—you would sneer at me, wouldn’t you?
Lord Windermere	I should feel it was not true. A mother’s love means devotion, unselfishness, sacrifice. What could you know of such things?
Mrs. Erlynne	You are right. What could I know of such things? Don’t let us talk any more about it—as for telling my daughter who I am, that I do not allow. It is my secret, it is not yours. If I make up my mind to tell her, and I think I will, I shall tell her before I leave the house—if not, I shall never tell her.
Lord Windermere	Angrily. Then let me beg of you to leave our house at once. I will make your excuses to Margaret.
	Enter Lady Windermere R. She goes over to Mrs. Erlynne with the photograph in her hand. Lord Windermere moves to back of sofa, and anxiously watches Mrs. Erlynne as the scene progresses.
Lady Windermere	I am so sorry, Mrs. Erlynne, to have kept you waiting. I couldn’t find the photograph anywhere. At last I discovered it in my husband’s dressing-room—he had stolen it.
Mrs. Erlynne	Takes the photograph from her and looks at it. I am not surprised—it is charming. Goes over to sofa with Lady Windermere, and sits down beside her. Looks again at the photograph. And so that is your little boy! What is he called?
Lady Windermere	Gerard, after my dear father.
Mrs. Erlynne	Laying the photograph down. Really?
Lady Windermere	Yes. If it had been a girl, I would have called it after my mother. My mother had the same name as myself, Margaret.
Mrs. Erlynne	My name is Margaret too.
Lady Windermere	Indeed!
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes. Pause. You are devoted to your mother’s memory, Lady Windermere, your husband tells me.
Lady Windermere	We all have ideals in life. At least we all should have. Mine is my mother.
Mrs. Erlynne	Ideals are dangerous things. Realities are better. They wound, but they’re better.
Lady Windermere	Shaking her head. If I lost my ideals, I should lose everything.
Mrs. Erlynne	Everything?
Lady Windermere	Yes. Pause.
Mrs. Erlynne	Did your father often speak to you of your mother?
Lady Windermere	No, it gave him too much pain. He told me how my mother had died a few months after I was born. His eyes filled with tears as he spoke. Then he begged me never to mention her name to him again. It made him suffer even to hear it. My father—my father really died of a broken heart. His was the most ruined life I know.
Mrs. Erlynne	Rising. I am afraid I must go now, Lady Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Rising. Oh no, don’t.
Mrs. Erlynne	I think I had better. My carriage must have come back by this time. I sent it to Lady Jedburgh’s with a note.
Lady Windermere	Arthur, would you mind seeing if Mrs. Erlynne’s carriage has come back?
Mrs. Erlynne	Pray don’t trouble, Lord Windermere.
Lady Windermere	Yes, Arthur, do go, please.
	Lord Windermere hesitated for a moment and looks at Mrs. Erlynne. She remains quite impassive. He leaves the room.
	To Mrs. Erlynne. Oh! What am I to say to you? You saved me last night? Goes towards her.
Mrs. Erlynne	Hush—don’t speak of it.
Lady Windermere	I must speak of it. I can’t let you think that I am going to accept this sacrifice. I am not. It is too great. I am going to tell my husband everything. It is my duty.
Mrs. Erlynne	It is not your duty—at least you have duties to others besides him. You say you owe me something?
Lady Windermere	I owe you everything.
Mrs. Erlynne	Then pay your debt by silence. That is the only way in which it can be paid. Don’t spoil the one good thing I have done in my life by telling it to anyone. Promise me that what passed last night will remain a secret between us. You must not bring misery into your husband’s life. Why spoil his love? You must not spoil it. Love is easily killed. Oh! how easily love is killed. Pledge me your word, Lady Windermere, that you will never tell him. I insist upon it.
Lady Windermere	With bowed head. It is your will, not mine.
Mrs. Erlynne	Yes, it is my will. And never forget your child—I like to think of you as a mother. I like you to think of yourself as one.
Lady Windermere	Looking up. I always will now. Only once in my life I have forgotten my own mother—that was last night. Oh, if I had remembered her I should not have been so foolish, so wicked.
Mrs. Erlynne	With a slight shudder. Hush, last night is quite over.
	Enter Lord Windermere.
Lord Windermere	Your carriage has not come back yet, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	It makes no matter. I’ll take a hansom. There is nothing in the world so respectable as a good Shrewsbury and Talbot. And now, dear Lady Windermere, I am afraid it is really goodbye. Moves up C. Oh, I remember. You’ll think me absurd, but do you know I’ve taken a great fancy to this fan that I was silly enough to run away with last night from your ball. Now, I wonder would you give it to me? Lord Windermere says you may. I know it is his present.
Lady Windermere	Oh, certainly, if it will give you any pleasure. But it has my name on it. It has “Margaret” on it.
Mrs. Erlynne	But we have the same Christian name.
Lady Windermere	Oh, I forgot. Of course, do have it. What a wonderful chance our names being the same!
Mrs. Erlynne	Quite wonderful. Thanks—it will always remind me of you. Shakes hands with her.
	Enter Parker.
Parker	Lord Augustus Lorton. Mrs. Erlynne’s carriage has come.
	Enter Lord Augustus.
Lord Augustus	Good morning, dear boy. Good morning, Lady Windermere. Sees Mrs. Erlynne. Mrs. Erlynne!
Mrs. Erlynne	How do you do, Lord Augustus? Are you quite well this morning?
Lord Augustus	Coldly. Quite well, thank you, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	You don’t look at all well, Lord Augustus. You stop up too late—it is so bad for you. You really should take more care of yourself. Goodbye, Lord Windermere. Goes towards door with a bow to Lord Augustus. Suddenly smiles and looks back at him. Lord Augustus! Won’t you see me to my carriage? You might carry the fan.
Lord Windermere	Allow me!
Mrs. Erlynne	No; I want Lord Augustus. I have a special message for the dear Duchess. Won’t you carry the fan, Lord Augustus?
Lord Augustus	If you really desire it, Mrs. Erlynne.
Mrs. Erlynne	Laughing. Of course I do. You’ll carry it so gracefully. You would carry off anything gracefully, dear Lord Augustus.
	When she reaches the door she looks back for a moment at Lady Windermere. Their eyes meet. Then she turns, and exit C. followed by Lord Augustus.
Lady Windermere	You will never speak against Mrs. Erlynne again, Arthur, will you?
Lord Windermere	Gravely. She is better than one thought her.
Lady Windermere	She is better than I am.
Lord Windermere	Smiling as he strokes her hair. Child, you and she belong to different worlds. Into your world evil has never entered.
Lady Windermere	Don’t say that, Arthur. There is the same world for all of us, and good and evil, sin and innocence, go through it hand in hand. To shut one’s eyes to half of life that one may live securely is as though one blinded oneself that one might walk with more safety in a land of pit and precipice.
Lord Windermere	Moves down with her. Darling, why do you say that?
Lady Windermere	Sits on sofa. Because I, who had shut my eyes to life, came to the brink. And one who had separated us—
Lord Windermere	We were never separated.
Lady Windermere	We never must be again. O Arthur, don’t love me less, and I will trust you more. I will trust you absolutely. Let us go to Selby. In the Rose Garden at Selby the roses are white and red.
	Enter Lord Augustus* C.*
Lord Augustus	Arthur, she has explained everything!
	Lady Windermere looks horribly frightened at this. Lord Windermere starts. Lord Augustus takes Windermere by the arm and brings him to front of stage. He talks rapidly and in a low voice. Lady Windermere stands watching them in terror. My dear fellow, she has explained every demmed thing. We all wronged her immensely. It was entirely for my sake she went to Darlington’s rooms. Called first at the Club—fact is, wanted to put me out of suspense—and being told I had gone on—followed—naturally frightened when she heard a lot of us coming in—retired to another room—I assure you, most gratifying to me, the whole thing. We all behaved brutally to her. She is just the woman for me. Suits me down to the ground. All the conditions she makes are that we live entirely out of England. A very good thing too. Demmed clubs, demmed climate, demmed cooks, demmed everything. Sick of it all!
Lady Windermere	Frightened. Has Mrs. Erlynne—?
Lord Augustus	Advancing towards her with a low bow. Yes, Lady Windermere—Mrs. Erlynne has done me the honour of accepting my hand.
Lord Windermere	Well, you are certainly marrying a very clever woman!
Lady Windermere	Taking her husband’s hand. Ah, you’re marrying a very good woman!

Curtain